Red Lunch Box

Penn State: Accountability 101

2011-11-13T09:25:00.000-08:00

There is an article floating around by Thomas L. Day, a 31-year-old man who was a product of Jerry Sandusky's "Second Mile" program. He has given up on looking to his superiors for guidance, pointing out the failures of leadership in all major facets of his life: in education, politics, church, etc. And he ends by saying, "I can’t wait for my parents’ generation’s Joshua any longer. They’ve lost my faith."

The baby boomers, when they were younger, fought passionately for change. They were very politically involved and extremely hopeful. I'm seeing what I imagine feels similar today in the Occupy Wall Street movement, and in some ways, it really does give me hope. I hope that this moment is the beginning of a new generation's legacy. I want this to be the moment where we get our priorities straight and commit to the kind of self-sacrifice and accountability that has been eroded over the last few decades.

I want to ensure that the generations behind us looks to us as a generation of problem-solvers, leaders and people willing to sacrifice. I don't think we have a choice and I see a lot of reasons for hope and optimism.

What I find horrifying in this whole Penn State fiasco are the thousands of students who protested Paterno's firing. I see people who don't seem to have the first idea of what accountability looks like. There is no argument that Joe Paterno did an enormous amount of great things in his life and helped many people. He wasn't fired for being a bad man; he was fired for not doing enough to stop child rape. He was fired because there needs to be accountability.

Real leadership would have looked something like this: Paterno would have claimed responsibility for his inaction and offered to step down. That would have been leadership. Instead, he dodged responsibility and focused on college football at great expense to innocent children.

I wanted to see the Penn State student body mobilize to focus on fixing the problems that led to the cover-up and put plans in place that would prevent this in the future.

I hope this generation ends up to be more like the Wall Street occupiers and less like the Penn State protestors. I want us to get our priorities straight and learn to embrace sacrifice and responsibility with a sense of maturity and pride (not only in response to bad press). I hope we are able to teach the next generation what accountability looks like.

New Digs

2011-03-07T17:09:00.001-08:00

Well it looks like Bonnie and I are on the move again, not very far this time though. We're moving about half an hour outside of Providence to the small coastal town that we both found jobs in. We love our current apartment. It's special. It's by far the most beautiful and spacious place we've ever lived in together. It's an entire floor of a renovated Victorian home, three bedrooms, living room, dining room, kitchen, gorgeous bathroom, chandeliers, walls painted warm colors, wood parquet floors, a fenced in double lot yard surrounded with trees and plants. It's amazing. BUT, we're an ansy kind of people. We like change. We like different experiences and its time for something new.

This was sparked by a winter where finances caught up to us in the form of student loans and increased car payments. So in an effort to save money and satisfy our craving for something new and interesting, we decided to search for a place to live near where we work.

We found it. It's a cottage on the lot of a quite large Victorian home in a rather wealthy area of Tiverton, RI. The neighborhood is surrounded on two sides by water. We'll be living in a cottage that was renovated to be a dance studio, which has since moved onto main street. It has a loft-like feel with high ceilings and a lot of open space, with the cuteness and wood beauty of a nice cottage. We'll gain privacy, still have a lovely yard for Max and outdoor life, and will save money on rent, heat and car gas. It's a good deal. We're pretty happy about all of this.

We found another couple to take up our current apartment, so our landlord is kind enough to let us out of the lease. The new couple seems pretty awesome; I think they'll be a good fit here.

Alice's Restaurant

2010-12-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

We had an electrician working on the chandelier in our bedroom this morning, so while we were housebound, I put on the film "Alice's Restaurant". It's a movie based on the song by Arlo Guthrie, starring Arlo Guthrie. First of all, I've heard the song a many a times, but I always pictured him to be a middle-aged man singing. In the movie, he looks like he's around 20 years ago. He just has a really unusual voice. It was a fun film to watch, much less about the Vietnam War than I had expected based off of the song. It was funny in parts and then ended up getting more serious near the end as it had started out all "happy hippy 60's" and then showed some troubles that certain characters fell into over time. I'm surprised I've never watched it before. The electrician kept laughing out loud at it quite a bit and talked to us a little bit about how people just traveled all the time with no real destination, that's just how it was then.

The real life Alice is an artist now, living in Provincetown and she has a website.

Fritz Lang

2010-12-04T07:20:00.000-08:00

I recently watched two of German director Fritz Lang's films: Metropolis and M.

Metropolis is a silent film considered to be one of the first sci-fi films ever. One of Bonnie's former bosses had told her it was her favorite movie and Bonnie had to watch it (she had the movie poster hanging on her office wall). The film was pretty political given the fact that it was filmed in Germany during the Weimar Republic and dealt with socialism/class discrepancies. Some of the effects were were pretty awesome and I have no idea how they did some of it (see the Shufftan Process). One thing that is also pretty cool is that it was produced by Studio Babelsberg, still a major German film studio. Recent films it is involved in are Inglorious Basterds, The International, Valkrie, The Bourne Ultimatum, V for Vendetta and so on. Pretty cool. It's logo is based off of the machine from Metropolis.

Metropolis is more famous and probably had a bigger impact on film and culture, but I personally like "M" much better. It was Fritz Lang's first "talkie" and is part film noir/thriller. It was pretty awesome. It was apparently not well received by the Nazi government (who saw themselves in the killers?) and Lang fled the country shortly after its release. His wife, Thea von Harbou, who had produced the film with him, eventually ended up joining the Nazi Party a year before Hitler came into power. They had divorced by that time.

I can't find a trailer that has the english subtitles, but oh well.

Next Movie: True Grit

2010-12-04T06:04:00.000-08:00

Can I just tell everyone how much I love Netflix? I'm reading the movie section of the New York Times and there's an article about a new Coen Brother's movie coming out that stars three of my favorite actors: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin. Well, the first two are definitely among my favorite actors. I haven't seen Josh Brolin is much other than Goonies and W, but he did well in both. Anyways, the Coen brothers are remaking a John Wayne movie, True Grit, which I have heard about a lot but never watched.

Top of the Netflix queue. It bumped "The Enforcer" to number two; it's the third film in the Dirty Harry series. The rest of the series seems to be available on livestream, but I don't like watching things out of order so I need see The Enforcer really soon so that I can watch the rest.

The Coen film is not a remake of the John Wayne film (they said they only vaguely remember watching it as kids and didn't "do their homework". This came out of one of them reading the actual book out loud to one of their kids). It's another adaptation of the same book True Grit by Charles Portis.

Looking forward to this one.

Moral Ambiguity Woos Me

2010-11-28T12:06:00.000-08:00

I love moral ambiguity. I've really thought about this. First off, it's just a great phrase, feels good to say ya know? Secondly, it's a really engaging situation. I love it in art and I think it's really profound when situations arise (in real life or in art) where the morality of a situation isn't black and white.

For a Christian to kill a fellow soldier in war who is injured and in excruciating pain, do they "kill" or not? Do they break a commandment and take God's work into their own hands, or do they feel compassion and put an end to their friend's suffering?

In my own life (when I adhered to a more Christian-centered moral compass) I had to question which three options were the most "wrong": Pretend to love a guy (thus lying and being careless with another person's emotions), keep my feelings about girls to myself (which also involves lying and deprives others of knowing that they're loved) or be completely open about my feelings (not lying and letting people I love know about it, but breaking a "supposed" basic tenet of Christianity?) At one time in my life, this felt like a very morally ambiguous situation.

I'm watching an old film called "M" by Fritz Lang, which led me to read the Wikipedia entry about him. He's considered one of the directors to have helped form the film noir genre with its "themes of psychological conflict, paranoia, fate and moral ambiguity." Film swoon.

I've been going through a bunch of movies in my head looking for that morally ambiguous element and it's present in almost all of my favorite movies. It's actually something that is common in almost any decent story. My favorite example is the Godfather. Yes, Don Corleone is involved in so many of societies so-called ills like gambling, murder, bribery, sexism, etc. He is quite capitalist (in the film version at least) which includes many of its own moral issues. Yet, it isn't fair to say he is a downright immoral man. He's an independent spirit who has defined his own code of ethics, but he does live and die by it. He has an incredibly strong moral compass. He seeks justice for people who our own justice system fails. His so-called crimes aren't so different from the actions of our police departments. It's moral ambiguity at its best.

Back to my movie now.

Books & Movies; Movies & Books

2010-09-22T18:46:00.000-07:00

Ugh, there's so much I want to write about! But I don't have all day, so instead, I'll make a list.

Movies/Books that I've either started or are relevant to now that I really need to read/watch ASAP:

A Single Man: (I just watched the movie with Colin Firth a week ago from Netflix and now Bonnie picked up the book by Christopher Isherwood from the library).

The Girl Who Played With Fire: I need to finish the book because I need to see the movie which came out a few weeks ago and I missed.

The Social Network: Looking forward to seeing that with Bonnie and Jay, partly because I'm oddly fascinated with Mark Zuckerberg and partly because Jesse Eisenberg is really adorable. The trailers looks really cool.

Let Me In: I'm looking forward to going to see this film as well. Now, I saw the original Swedish film "Let The Right One In", which was fantastic. I was actually disappointed to hear that America needed to "recreate" an already great film simply because Americans don't do subtitles (or whatever the issue is). However, I did see some trailers that piqued my interest and the cast looks promising. The fact that they changed the title is a bad omen though because first of all, it's just lamer. Secondly, "Let The Right One In" is actually more relevant after you've seen the film. Thirdly, "Let the Right One In" is the title of a Smith's song that played at the beginning of the Swedish version and it just makes sense.

American Version:

Swedish Version:

No Country For Old Men: I started reading the book and it's great. I've never seen the film and it's high time.

Howdie

2010-09-15T17:29:00.000-07:00

Oh hey, I was writing in this for a few days and then I stopped again, big surprise.

I'm not really up to anything in particular that is exciting to mention...except of course that I am one full day away from seeing the second half of Angels in America in New York. I am insanely anxious. Deena just told me that Harper is played by Zoe Kazan, as in Elia Kazan's granddaughter and current girlfriend to Paul Dano. Interesting.

I don't have much to write about right now, sorry. I'm listening to music and surfing the interwebs.

To Kill A Mockingbird Remake

2010-08-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

The Remake Dream Cast:

Scout: new unknown actress
Atticus: Jeff Bridges
Calpurnia: Viola Davis
Boo Radley: Michael Stipe, Michael Pitt, or Paul Dano
Nathan Radley: John Waters
Dill: Kieran Culkin circa "Father of the Bride" (really, any young Culkin brother)
Jem: Wil Wheaton circa "Stand By Me"
Miss Maudie: Kathy Bates
Aunt Alexandra: Meryl Streep
Tom Robinson: new unknown actor
Walter Cunningham Sr.: Steve Buscemi
Bob Ewell: Chris Cooper
Heck Tate (the sheriff): Nathan Fillion or Ethan Hawke
The Judge: Phillip Seymour Hoffman or John Lithgow

Bonnie and I have this thing that started back in the days of new Harry Potter book releases/movie premieres where we'd re-read the books (or at least the book right before whatever new release was about to happen). Bonnie was suffering some pretty bad bouts of insomnia and reading out loud to her would help her fall asleep, so that's what we did. It started a reading out loud kick that never went away and the most recent book I read out loud was To Kill A Mockingbird.

Re-reading To Kill A Mockingbird outside of a school assignment was awesome, so great. I knew I liked reading it in school, but all I really remembered was Scout and her brother being really curious about their shut-in neighbor Boo Radley and something about a trial where her dad Atticus represented a black man in court.

You wouldn't know it if you only watched the crappy movie version, but To Kill A Mockingbird first and foremost is a story told from Scout's perspective as an adult. She's telling the story of her own growing up and confronting her own childhood ignorance, largely based on Harper Lee's own childhood.

You watch these kids go from naive acceptance of the way things are (including themselves) where they make up scary assumptions about a shut-in they have never even seen to understanding and confronting their own ignorance.

And through all of the serious elements, one of the best parts of the whole book is the humor! It was so funny at times! There's a certain southern sense of humor that I really love, a way of telling a funny story that says so much in a simple way.

After re-reading the book, we watched the movie from Netflix and holy cow does the world need a remake and that's all I have to say about that. It would need to focus way more on the kids perspectives and would definitely need to include a lot more of the funny elements. The book was funny, cute, serious, smart. The original movie wasn't funny or cute at all and only had fleeting moments of smart. It definitely had serious down though, blah.

Tomorrow Wendy...

2010-08-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite songs in my early teens was "Tomorrow Wendy" as sung my Johnette Napolitano on her live Concrete Blonde Album "Still In Hollywood". In the intro to the song, she talked about the song's meaning a bit and mentioned that it was about a woman with AIDS written by her friend Andy Prieboy of the band "All of Voodoo".

I recently did a youtube search for the video and actually found two really interesting videos, one was a more recent live version of her singing it where she elaborated on the song's meaning. Basically, it's about a friend of Andy's named Wendy who contracted AIDS and instead of suffering the pain, isolation and intense stigma associated with the disease (at that time especially, people were afraid of knowing someone with AIDS), she chose to commit suicide. This really shifted my understanding of the song. It's so much more about taking control of the only thing left she had control over, when and where she was going to die. Ugh.

The second video was the original music video of Andy Prieboy singing it, which I didn't even know existed, and it's amazing. Johnette is also featured on it:

Even growing up in the 80's, I was very young and had to make an effort on my own to try to grasp the magnitude of the impact AIDS had on everyone and how it changed so much about life.

For a while, my idea of AIDS was a montage of images and news-bites: Magic Johnson stating publicly that he was HIV , Pedro Zamora from the Real World cast educating people about the disease, the Ryan White Story made for tv movie. Fight AIDS Not People With AIDS. The AIDS quilt.

Yes, I knew about it. Yes I knew it was horrible. But it wasn't until I read the book "And the Band Played On" by Randy Shilts that I began to understand how devastating this disease was at that time. NOTE: I know it still is. And as an epidemic in many parts of the world. I'm specifically thinking about American lives around the 1970's through the early 90's when the questions and ignorance about the disease was at an all time high.

It was just so many layers of devastation. It was viewed as a death sentence (for most it was). It was an ugly and inhumane way to die. People were scared of people with AIDS. AIDS patients were actively shunned by society, by our government, and by our "health system". I know it's a huge book and a difficult subject matter, but "And the Band Played On" should be required reading for everyone at some point in their life. And if you don't read the book, then at least rent the movie from Netflix. I didn't understand how much crap people with AIDS had to experience even beyond the physical consequences of the disease itself.

I wonder how much different our culture would be if AIDS hadn't happened. How would dating/relationships be different? How much more art would have been created by artists/actors/writers/etc who died of AIDS?

I just watched "To Kill a Mockingbird" and looked up the adorable kid who played Dill, actor John Megna. Died of AIDS in 1995.

Keith Haring, Freddy Mercury, GIA, Robert Mapplethorpe...

Whip It

2010-08-24T16:27:00.001-07:00

Ugh, I love two things: The movie "Whip It" (nice music!) and Ellen Page. New life goal: I need to be a jammer on the Providence roller derby team. Seriously.

In other news, I feel REALLY old lately. OK, not REALLY old, more like oddly old. I feel youthful, healthy, like I have most of my life ahead of me yet and all of that good stuff...but little people that used to be toddlers and babies in my life are now returning from serving in Afghanistan or starting their first year of high school and I'm sorry, but that's just too weird. Make it stop.

Who cares though? I never want to be one of those people that dreads every year I get older. Getting older is kind of cool in many ways and all that age dreading stuff seems like old person baggage that is more about image then about anything real. But I am definitely feeling it lately, and it's quite odd. I wonder when I'm going to spot the first gray hair.

While I just turned 29, let's just round up for the sake of argument. There's a really good chance that I'm still 15 years away from even reaching the half-way mark of this life biz. That's pretty much incomprehensible to me. Clearly I need to join a roller derby team; that's really sucking the marrow out of this life. Yeah.

Or maybe I'm well past half-way. Not to be morbid or dark, but we all know that "the big day" could be any day and it really gives me peace of mind to say that I'm super happy right now. I have goals and dreams for sure (thankfully), but I could barely be happier then I am now.

Cue unexpected life assessment with the Beatles' "In My Life" softly playing in the background:

At least I can say I found love, someone who I connect with more then I ever imagined was possible and someone that I trust as much as anyone can trust a person.

At least I figured out something that makes me happy in life, which is to say that I found something that keeps me on my toes and that I enjoy doing, and this came after learning that I do not need a "career" to disproportionately satisfy my sense of meaning in my life. I like my job. It's fun and keeps me interested and it doesn't feel like something that defines me too much, which is a really good thing. I do web design, but if you ever ask me what I am, I'll never say I'm a web designer. I hope you understand the difference and why I don't feel that's a bad thing.

At least I already took crazy risks & chances & did things that were based on their potential rather than their guarantees.

At least I made commitments.

I've owned assets! Shut up, my grandparent's Buick is super spacious and my Saab has 227,000+ miles on it and that's a freakin' source of pride. I've lived in three cities and have only had one window smashed and two broken car stereos stolen. I've been lucky enough to never break a bone, but I'm experienced enough to have fractured an ankle and been knocked out more than I can count.

I've traveled a lot, but never enough. I've seen my family go through great accomplishments and I've seen them struggle through some great challenges with amazing strength. They're amazing. I'm so lucky.

I live in an apartment that is, at least to me, more beautiful than most houses. It's the kind of place that is so one-of-a-kind and perfect and I LOVE it. Love it love it love it.

There's just so much I'm happy for and so much I'm glad I went through and so much I'm looking forward to. So. I'll stop being mushy now. You can skip to the next song if you'd like now.

Time To Begin The Walk Run

2010-08-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I have a huge to-do list today and of course I'm pausing to write an update about it. I spent most of my morning dealing with Wordpress update issues which I thankfully wrote about at my web design blog so anyone reading this who doesn't care about Wordpress is spared the update. Suffice it to say, the problem is resolved and now I can get on with life.

Today I have my external hard drive plugged into my laptop for the first leg of the "get my life organized" marathon that is about to happen. The first leg is comprised of the "free up my laptop memory" event, a gentle warm-up for the more strenuous activities to come. I'm not a marathon kind of gal, so this merits a participation ribbon at the very least. I expect Bonnie to hand me Dixie cups full of ~~wine~~ water as I perform today's marathon.

Other events will include cleaning the house as detailed in a previous entry, maybe some mowing of the yard, maybe some finishing of my business card, and hopefully some blog posts on my secret money making scheme website.

Wish me luck!

What is your mother's maiden name? your ma

2010-08-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

I had quite a scare of the techno-privacy variety yesterday. I was checking my email via my phone and it told me my user-name & password were incorrect. That never happens; it's my g-mail account and I didn't recently change it. I figured it was a strange phone quirk and I really didn't worry about it because I figured it'd be fine later when I actually got on my computer.

Well that was not the case and then the real freak out began. Seriously, the amount of info someone can gain from just a few hours of email access is truly frightening. They can easily figure out my bank, then go to my banking site and say, "Hey, I lost my password, send it to me." This can be done for any site and its just scary. If someone breaks into my Facebook account and sends dirty messages to my friends & loved ones...I can deal with that. In fact, a part of me believes its only a matter of time. But if someone hacks into my email, that's personal! Email is sacred.

Thankfully, during my attempt at resetting my password while going through Google's security questions, it asked "Do you have a blogger website and if so, what is it called?" Then the light bulb in my head flashed and I remembered that blogger is owned by Google now and that I had just changed my blogger password the day before, which means that while I thought I was only changing my blogger password, I probably inadvertently changed my Google Accounts password. Yep. Sigh.

I don't like that I can't have a separate password for certain sites. It feels less secure. I don't really care all that much if someone gets into my blog accounts, but I really care if they get into my email. I know in theory that because its all the same account that's supposed to make all of these separate Google account entities more secure, but I don't understand it and that makes me feel less secure.

Do To Popular Demand

2010-08-20T09:34:00.001-07:00

Oh crap, it turns out there is still a little readership life on the ol' blogspot journal. Blogspot cancellation: void & null.

El Darco Hearts Wordpress

2010-08-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

I've decided to stop the dual posting on my Livejournal and Blogspot journals. It's unnecessary extra work and since I have the luxury of an extremely low or even non-existent readership, I really have nothing lose.

I'm at work on my lunch break at the moment. I've spent much of the morning reading about some of the inner workings of Wordpress software. Wordpress is amazing. It simultaneously manages to be really easy for non-developer folks to use and edit, and yet is quite complex and allows for a limitless amount of customization. It's brilliant. I've been trying to grok template tags, the template hierarchy, child themes and related issues and the result is that my right-brained mind is feeling quite pulled to the left today. While I still have very little ability to actually implement many of the more advanced features which require a decent amount of php programming, I definitely have a better overall picture and hopefully learned some things that may come in handy at some point. Baby steps are better then nothing.

I'm so anxious for the weekend to officially begin in a few hours! This week has been good but long and I have some projects that I am anxious to put some time into. One of those is a labor-intensive late-August pre-fall apartment organizing. Note I didn't write "cleaning". No, this is the more difficult project of actual organization. I've managed to raise my cleaning standards over the past few months and have found it easy to keep things clean, but organized is a different beast altogether.

Exciting plans include, but are not limited to: cleaning out two massive closets and the basement storage unit. This means actually calling the garbage pick-up folks to pick up things like a broken television and probably some other fun finds.It means cleaning up piles in the office, which means spending time filing papers, hanging up artwork, etc. Realistically, this will probably take way longer than I'm usually willing to give of my weekend, but aim high!

I also plan to write some more thrilling blog posts on my super secret money making blog.

If I accomplish all of that, then I should probably finish tweaking my business card design and actually order them. I had already ordered some cards, but they came back wrong (my fault). Luckily, as a graduation present from RISD, every certificate program student who graduated this spring gets a free pack of business cards from the awesome Providence-based Moo.

Keywords: Auto, Car, Automobile, Insurance, Company, Companies, Agency, Agencies....make it stop!!!!

2010-08-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty peachy day at work. We have a project for an auto insurance web site that requires approx. 6-7 pages of various insurance related pages per state, so I've literally spent about the last four+ months of my work life creating content pages about "Mississippi Mandatory Liability Laws", "Mississippi Auto Insurance Company Quote Comparison", "Maryland Car Insurance Rates". I love to learn, even random knowledge is great knowledge, but I question whether its ever going to be useful for me to know which factors affect my auto insurance rate the most in the state of Rhode Island or whether or not we are a "tort" or "no-fault" state. Sigh. I know way more then anyone who has a car that is so cheap it isn't worth insuring should really have to know. Anyways, I basically finished it today. There's some more work that should be done to it, but the redundant content creating aspect of it is done.

We were supposed to take Kate out for dinner, technically as a thank you for dog-sitting Max when we were away for a week in Chicago, but really just because it's nice to meet up with her and we all love trying out awesome restaurants. However, Bonnie got a fierce migraine near the end of the work day, so dinner plans are to be rescheduled.

Bonnie is resting, so now I'm trying to decide what to do. Read Ragan Fox's blog? Work on my secret money-making scheme website? Read more of "The Girl Who Played With Fire"? All of those sound great, but I really need to do something active. I can't stand sitting in front of a screen all day. It's unfortunate that the vast majority of things I enjoy happen to involve computer screens: Work, blogging, reading blogs, website development, Netflix Livestreaming, watching a few select television shows, writing/chatting with friends & family.

I'll go work out until I feel less antsy and then I'll probably have a clearer idea of what I feel like doing.

For Christmas, All I Want Is a Metal Detector & Scuba Gear

2010-08-18T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today I learned that a famous ship named the HMS Endeavour, which is what the famous spaceship Endeavour is named after, sunk in Narragansett Bay and it hasn't been precisely located! If only I had a metal detector

It's pretty cool how I came to know this. I was looking up Christa McAuliffe,the teacher who was chosen by NASA to take part in the "Teacher in Space Project" on the Challenger that exploded in 1986. I honestly don't remember what led me to look her up, but I did. So from there, I was talking to Bonnie about the woman who was chosen to be her backup, Barbara Morgan. I figured that the "runner-up" would feel quite relieved, partially guilty, and rather traumatized by the whole disaster. It turns out Barbara, who was a teacher, became an astronaut and went to space in 2007! That's just incredibly awesome.

So I was telling Bonnie about Barbara Morgan, and she casually informs me that her grade school was responsible for naming the Endeavor. What??? That little school in Hope Valley named the Endeavor!? To my never-ending amusement, she reminds me that she was in "NASA Club" as a fourth grader, which I only found out about a few months ago, despite the fact that I've been with her for 8+ years. She claims to have been "the Mission Control Scientist or some sh*t" that she took very seriously and she had to do some science experiment that involved coffee filters, ink and water. (The best part of finding out Bonnie was in NASA Club as a 4th grader was that they were told to sit in chairs that were laying flat on the ground to blast off. The vision of that is so cute it almost hurts.) Anyways...

Of course, I then need to look up the Endeavor to see if it mentions her middle school, and it turns out that her middle school did not name it after all. The Space Shuttle Endeavor was not named by Hope Valley Middle School. I quote:

"The national winners were Senatobia Middle School in Senatobia, Mississippi, in the elementary division and Tallulah Falls School in Tallulah Falls, Georgia, in the upper school division. They were honored at several ceremonies in Washington, D.C., including a White House ceremony where then-President George H.W. Bush presented awards to each school.[6]"

So then, I see that it was named after the famous British Royal Navy research vessel and was about to call it a day with Wikipedia when I saw that it sank in Narragansett Bay! That's here in Rhode Island, about 15-20 minutes from me!

I'm so on this. For Christmas, all I was is a metal detector & some scuba gear.

Oh Brother

2010-08-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

I know it's sort of odd-sounding, but I've been doing two things lately that maybe I should be ashamed to admit but really, I'm already over it. And truly, only the first thing I'm about to say is somewhat stupid...the second part is actually kind of cool.

Part #1: Bonnie and I have taken to watching Big Brother Season 12. Now mind you, we don't have cable. We don't have satellite. We don't have a wide-screen digital television. And we certainly do not have a 3D television which seems to be a new craze. We have a rather small-screen plain old flat-screen which doesn't get any channels because we don't even have an antennae. My point is that we're actively seeking this out. It's true. Back in the day, we watched a season of Big Brother (whichever season it was the had Evil Dick)and were briefly obsessed with it. Well anyways, we've been craving some mindless television and had heard from Kate that this Big Brother season was pretty awesome, so we've been watching it online.

Part #2: In an attempt to find out a bit more about one of the contestants, Ragan, I discovered his Wordpress blog. He's been updating it since November of 2001! I LOVE IT. He's smart, funny and scandalous and it's a truly interesting blog to read. I've tried to start at the beginning. I've only made it through a few months and its fascinating. First of all, it's great when there are references to things that were popular at that specific time. It's hard to believe that one of my favorite movies Amelie is so old now! That was almost a decade ago, unreal. He writes a lot of really interesting smart things about slam poetry, gender/gay issues, Bush politics, etc. It's actually been the impetus of several great conversations I've had with Bonnie. It's totally weird because I'm basically obsessing over a person's life from nearly a decade ago, reminiscing over stuff that doesn't really feel that old, learning some interesting things and all from someone that is currently on Big Brother. HOW BIZARRE.

No shame, really. I'm too old to care right?

Well hello again!

2010-08-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

reply linkEdit EntryEdit TagsAdd to MemoriesShare this!Track This

Oh my, I can barely recall the last time I updated this thing. I'm lucky that I still know my user-name and password! It took two tries, but still.

Over the past few days I've been reading a lot of other on-line journals and it got me wishing that I was updating more often. So I decided that while I'm feeling it, I may as well take advantage of the inspiration.

Quick life update of what's going on right now:

I'm living in Providence in a beautiful amazing Victorian apartment building; we have pretty much the whole second floor to ourselves. The fenced in backyard to this place is amazing as it lets Max run around to get his energy out and has allowed us to try our hand at gardening. We've spent quite a few nights this spring & summer enjoying fires while hanging out with a variety of awesome folks.

I'm working as a web designer at Zeus Design. I believe it's my first non-customer service job ever. Unless you count magazine internships, but since I never really got paid, at least not legally, that doesn't count.

I'm 29. I could stand to get my hearing, eyes and teeth checked but never seem to have jobs that offer insurance and I always find other things to prioritize.

And now I'm already bored with talking about myself. I feel that was a decent brief short & sweet "hello" and will now feel much better just launching back into this thing with random thoughts.

Family History

2008-12-28T11:24:00.001-08:00

It is a curious thing to experience, the realization that my family has fully transitioned into another phase of life. My parents are more GRANDparents than parents. My brothers and sister look like real adults. There are growing numbers of little people around and they ask me questions like, "Are you my dad's sister?" in a tone that implies their heads can't really stretch big enough to grasp that their dad is also a brother.

I've been thinking a lot about how much history my parents and my grandparents have that I've never heard. I never asked. I think about the fact that there is a very good chance, likely even, that I will never have children and I'm basically OK with that, except that I always wish I had someone to pass our stories and common history to.

Every time I've been out to visit my parents, I've been purposefully asking them about their past and about their parents and grandparents. I want to know more than just the few stories I remember from when I was a kid (many of which I'm not even sure are true stories or if I imagined them...for example, I swear my dad told me I was related to Amelia Earhart, but he looks at me like I'm crazy when I bring that up now.)

My dad woke up early on Saturday to drive Bonnie and I to O'Hare airport to catch our flight back home to Providence. After our Dunkin' Donuts coffees were near finished and we were awake enough to start chatting, I asked him for more details on how he met the two Vietnamese boys that are now my adopted uncles.

Here's the story:

My dad was drafted into the army near the end of the Vietnam War and was stationed near Saigon. Identical twin Vietnamese boys, roughly around the age of 7, lived among the soldiers on the base. The story at the time was that they were orphaned, but whether they were deserted or were runaways is still unclear. In any case, they learned to speak English and hung out with the soldiers all the time. A family in New Jersey was supposed to be working on adopting them, but that fell through and the soldiers they had befriended started to get reassigned.

My dad, who had mentioned the boys on several occasions in letters to his parents, recorded a tape where he laid out the failed adoption attempt and before he even got to asking, my grandpa had turned to my grandma and said, "Before this tape is over, he's going to ask us to adopt these boys and that's going to be a big decision that's going to require serious thought."

Sure enough my dad asked if they would adopt the boys. My grandpa said he was prepared to think long and hard about it, but about five minutes after they had listened to the tape, he came to the conclusion that they had already had five children and they never had to stop and think long and hard before having any of them. So they made up their minds then and there that they were going to adopt these two Vietnamese boys.

Of course, it wasn't like there was a legal process to adopting Vietnamese street kids. It was always a matter of knowing who to contact and who to pay.

About a year and a half went by and my dad had either been assigned elsewhere or was already back in the states and they lost the whereabouts of the boys. My grandpa asked my dad about them and my dad told him to let it go. There was no way he'd be able to find them. They have no permanent address. None of them spoke Vietnamese. It would be difficult to get them here legally, etc. Grandpa Garrett said, "Look, if those were my sons, I would never give up looking for them. I'm going over there and I'm going to find them."

He brought along one of my dad's army friends, flew to Saigon, and knowing that the boys hung out at the zoo a lot, went straight there to start asking street kids if they knew where to find identical twin boys who knew how to speak English. It's unclear who did the talking; I assume the army friend knew enough to talk to people. Within six hours he had found them.

Understandably, the boys didn't trust that some Americans were there to adopt them, so one of them went to meet the visitors while one hung out around the corner in case it was a ruse. They recognized my dad's army buddy though and realized it wasn't a trick.

My grandpa went to the American embassy, which only granted visa's on a day-by-day basis. They denied my grandpa a visa to stay long enough to work out a way to get the boys to the US, which required a lot of phone calls to an Illinois representative (who I don't know). Luckily, my grandpa was the editor of a town newspaper The Mendon Dispatch-Times and simply told the people at the embassy that he was staying until he had those boys on a plane to the US and if they threw him in jail, they could explain to the media why. (I'm sure he was rougher than that; my grandpa has a reputation for getting his way.)

He got his visas and worked it out so that they adopted the two boys. My dad suspects his unauthorized time away from work contributed to his losing his job shortly thereafter, but that's all I know about that.

I'm glad I asked.

Universal Wireless Internet

2008-09-01T22:58:00.001-07:00

Google is asking people to sign a petition requesting the FCC to open up the unused radio airwaves for general usage after all of the TV networks switch over to only digital in February. Oh god that would be amazing.

http://freetheairwaves.com/

Projects From My Photoshop Class

2008-08-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

I thought it'd be fun to post two of the projects I worked on for my Photoshop class this summer.

One assignment was to choose a background and merge several subjects into it.

I chose a birch tree forest that I scanned from a book on China as my background.

Then I started scanning some images from a book documenting 1968 in America.

I ended up using

Elvis:

Jim Morrison:

And some creepy, vacant 60's fashion models:

And merged them into one.

This was done through the use of channels and masking to create the people selections, and a little tinkering with opacity to make Elvis' feet blend into the ground a bit better. I also cleaned the image using levels.

Another project was to choose a magazine cover and recreate it without using any of the cover images or text. This one was a lot harder. We could use images on the inside of the magazine, provided that they weren't the exact same photo from the cover. I chose Dwell magazine, another one that happened to be chilling around my house. I lucked out because the house that was on the cover was featured in the inside article. It was a different photo (taken from a slightly different angle, with different people standing on the balcony, at a different time of day.)

This is the original cover:

Here is my recreation:

The image from the inside of the magazine was on a two-page spread, so I used the stamp tool to merge the left and rights sides of the house back together.

I used the gradient tool to recreate the sky and the coloring on the word "DWELL". Using the pen tool, I outlined the original "DWELL" text to make it a selection. For the rest of the fonts, I just chose the closest I could find that were already installed on my computer. I had to do this in one night given my time schedule that week, so I didn't really bother making the text absolutely perfect.

The photo from the inside article had one man leaning on the railing of the balcony. I managed to take him out of the image, but I ran out of time to insert other people. If I were on less of a tight schedule, I would have found some people in suits to merge onto the balcony. All in all, I am happy with how this one turned out.

Vermont

2008-08-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Remember when I just moved to Rhode Island and I was really excited about it and updated on an almost regular basis for a little bit? Yeah, sorry I've been absentee.

I've been a busy kid. During August, all I have is work at the bookstore and perhaps a few movies to review, but I am otherwise schedule-free...which is ultimately me at my happiest. I hate a heavily scheduled life.

I am currently in Vermont for the first time in my life. I LOVE traveling. I love seeing new areas.

We are in a hotel in Ludlow (technically Proctorsville, but it is right on the border and the closest town center is Ludlow). This area is basically a ski resort, so lodging is super cheap right now since it is off-season. Bonnie and one of her co-workers like to plan pretend vacations during their slow moments at work, and she showed Bonnie this little package deal that her and her husband are going to take. Bonnie, having remembered that my birthday is coming up and that I have been sighing and saying things like, "I just need some sort of vacation that requires nothing but down time" decided she was going to take me on a one-night "vacation"/road trip to Vermont.

So for approx. $100, we are staying a night at a hotel in a very beautiful mountainous town in Vermont, with complimentary chocolates and champagne (cheesy but fun) and a gift certificate for $25 off a four course meal at the Castle Inn Restaurant. There is more expensive lodging in an actual castle on this property, but since we are lower middle class, we are staying at the more traditional hotel nearby. We also get a discount on a massage, but I have no plans to get one since my girlfriend already gives the best massages ever.

To top it all off, I slept in today and then woke up around 11am and started getting dressed/packed. Bonnie called to tell me she was running a few errands and then would be home. I stopped her in the middle of our hallway to ask her something and noticed she was holding her hand behind her back while leaning against the wall. She wouldn't let me see what she was holding until it was ready.

She bought me a new digital camera. I love it. The last one sucked for two reasons: the rechargeable batteries only lasted about 20 minutes and it had sand in it and basically sucked at working on a regular basis. This new one is perfect.

I feel mildy guilty since her birthday was about a month ago and all I got her was a vinyl version of the New Pornographers album "Challengers". She tries to make me feel better by saying that this road trip and the camera are for her as well.

Anyway, I'm happy and I'm going to go read now.

Don Days

2008-06-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

I need to write about Chicago's Don's Coffee Club.

In late 2001, my now girlfriend had just moved to Chicago from Greenwich Village, NYC. She had the luxury of living there when there were still a significant number of grungy coffeehouses and lots of hole-in-the-wall diners and assorted venues. She loved to discover the lesser known hidden gems of Manhattan.

So she brought that same energy with her to Chicago and did some research into some lesser known places that she would try to make her own personal homes away from home in Chicago.

She discovered Don's tucked away in a small dingy building in the Roger's Park neighborhood. The neighborhood was borderline safe...a place that had lots of great art and people, but also an area that I learned not to walk around by myself too late in the evening...even to walk only a few blocks from the el to Don's.

She went there by herself the first time she tried it out. We were experiencing one of our Cold Wars, so I was not in the picture that time. A little while later though, when her and I was in a better place, she brought me there. Apparently, she had made her first Chicago friends who were a motley looking crew who invited her to join in their game of cards and smoke cigarettes non-stop.

This basically became our social life, as this group was somehow ALWAYS sitting on a small raised platform in the window of Don's, smoking, playing cards, and talking shit. We never called to meet up there, we just showed up knowing that they'd always be there. Don wasn't even the owner by the time we came on the scene; it had been sold twice since then. But it was still the same old smoky small place, with jazz music and maybe five other "customers" at any given time. I had no idea how it stayed in business as long as it did because one of the best parts about it was that there were so few OTHERS. It was always OUR place and it was awesome. The owner at the time, Bob, wouldn't even charge us for our drip coffee that he refilled while we hung out for hours. I remember that we all had to keep track of how much we drank and owed, because it wasn't like Bob was ever going to actually ASK us to pay.

Around the same time, Bonnie also happened upon a truly disgusting diner a block from her studio called Standees. Its sign consisted of a flashing arrow pointing to the door. It consisted of a small counter, maybe 8 booths, and a kick ass jukebox. $5 bought fifteen songs and we'd basically stay there with a few of our other young regulars until none of us could afford more songs. There was a guy named Dennis who was ALWAYS sitting at the counter. He never really spoke, but once we came in often enough to qualify as regulars, he'd do that head nod thing. And then there was the waitress Julie, who was basically Tammy Faye Baker with a smoker's voice and a bitchy attitude. For better or worse, it was another home away from home (which says a lot about the state of my living situations in Chicago).

One day, Bonnie was sitting there when one of the workers was chatting with her about life in general and how she was enjoying Chicago. It was an older guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt and he asked, "Have you ever been to Don's?" To which she replied that she had and in fact she went there all the time.

"I'm Don!"

"What?"

"I'm Don! That was my place!"

And so, Bonnie met Don of Don's Coffee Club during his brief stint working at Standees. For anyone familiar with these two joints, you understand how absurd this is. But lets just say that they were both places that are not easy to come by and I still can't really figure out why Don was ever working at Standees in the first place.

Anyway, Don seems to be a bit of a legend amongst a quiet cadre of writers. I was reading "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger and all of a sudden her two main characters are meeting over coffee at Don's Coffee Club and Don, complete with Hawaiian shirt, makes a guest appearance. Awesome.

Now I found this and you need to read it because it captures Don quite perfectly (scroll down to the headline "A Don For All Seasons".)A Don For All Seasons

Standees bought an espresso machine, which I think was what made Don quit. He grimaced at it every time he looked at it. It was just "too much!"

Straight Acting

2008-06-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

I went to a baby shower on Sunday. Baby showers have a way of making me feel REALLY queer, in two senses of the word. There is the awkwardness of trying to converse with strangers when the only thing you know about them is that they happen to know someone that you know. "Sooooo, how do you know so-and-so? Oh that's great! We work together." I don't really care how they know aforementioned so-and-so, and I also know that they don't care how I know aforementioned so-and-so. But it's just how those things go.

They also make me feel uber-homosexual, and not because there are tons of women there. It's because there are tons of straight women there. There is a sort of assumed female bonding "girls only" sort of thing that happens. The talk usually revolves around babies, the differences between men and women and related topics. I always get the weird feeling that I am like a guy that is eavesdropping on the bonding rituals of the other half and its not my world and I'm not supposed to be there.

I don't really do dresses, or shopping, or boys, or babies. I'm not judging! I'm just sayin', my life is largely void of such topics. I always feel completely out of my element and I feel like a poser. It's so weird. Other situations that make me feel similarly queer: Bridal showers, mall shopping (particularly anything that involves dressing rooms), and wedding receptions.

Speaking of feeling like a straight poser, is it cheating to go along with people when they talk about thinking some male movie star is hot? I was recently talking about the movie Chocolat and a female acquaintance said, "Oooh, and Johnny Depp was so hot in that!" And I was like, "Oooh yeah." But then I realized that this woman probably doesn't know I'm a homo and doesn't understand that I actually mean, "Ooooh yeah, he is totally hot...but I wouldn't actually want to sleep with him." Is this dishonest? I know what I mean, but I also know that it probably reads completely differently and maybe I have some sort of obligation to make myself more clear? I don't know; I've just been thinking about it and I decided that if I feel like a guy is hot, I'm still going to say it, even if it makes me sound way straighter than I actually am.

---

Mmm, I'm so enjoying having a lighter schedule now that school is over (minus my one project that is still due). I actually finished a book! I read "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" and I highly, highly recommend it. It's about a painfully nerdy/geeky boy(Oscar) born in the Dominican Republic who is the exact opposite of what a "typical" Dominican man should be. He's not macho. He sucks at sports. He speaks Elvish. He's an unhappy, overweight virgin. Then he moves to New Jersey...and nothing gets better. It's basically a character study (and not just of him, but several members of his family as well). If you can handle using context clues to figure out the heavy dose of Spanish words and phrases thrown in (never mind if you are already down with the Spanish) and if you don't mind an occasional interesting footnote, then I think you'd like it. I wouldn't understand you if you didn't.

I'm also half way through Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and enjoying it. The writing isn't the best, but I like the characters a lot and its pretty funny, so it's still a good read.

Values

2008-05-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about my values and the choices I make on a day to day basis. Maybe it is simply that I've left the urban lifestyle behind after six years and now live in simpler parts, but it seems to me that the general population is much more aware and concerned with the environment than even a year or two ago. Energy conservation seems more mainstream again. I'm sure that the price of oil is a huge part of the awakening consciousness. I've seen a lot less SUV's out on the roads. There are still quite a few trucks, but I understand that a lot of people need those for the type of work that they do. But who really needs an SUV? I have a neighbor who has five SUVs. FIVE. I find it hard not to judge him fiercely.

Besides, I'm no green angel. I take long hot showers. I turn the heat up higher than I need it. I honestly would probably be too lazy to recycle as much as I do if I didn't have a thoughtful girlfriend who calls me out whenever I choose convenience over principles.

But I am improving and I'm definitely thinking about it a lot more. There are really easy small things I've been doing. I have lit a fire instead of turned on the light and heat (although, the smoke that it produces makes me question the value in this tactic. Anyone know which is generally better?) I use cloth napkins. Bonnie bought these good reusable cleaning rags that I've used a lot more for cleaning. We carpool when we can. We use the more gas efficient car (even though the sterio is broken!). We try to buy organic and local, etc, etc.

Working at a book store, I have the awesome power of book display and have wielded that power for the greater good. All of last month, the first thing friendly (and a few unfriendly) patrons saw when they entered the store was a lovely display of environmental books. A few were moved to buy. Who knows if they'll utilize some of the ideas in the books, but a seed was probably planted so to speak. One cool thing happened last week when a regular family came in and the dad asked me where the kids version of the Inconvenient Truth book was moved to because he saw it on the display earlier and wanted his kids to read it. Score.

I can't remember how I came upon this family (I think it was in a newspaper I was reading), but they are a relatively young couple with a 5-year-old and a 6-month-old and they are donating the vast majority of their possessions and making a life changing move to live sustainably. They are chronicling their experiences and experiments on a blog, Cage Free Family. They are at that very scary pivotal period right now where they are making final arrangements before they go for it. Apparently, there have been a fair amount of ridiculous negative comments directed at them from stupid people. Why would anyone have a problem with someone at least attempting to live their life in a better way? No one is perfect, but thank god some people do what they can to make good choices. They need support (and they are also needing to barter some stuff, so if you have something you think they could use, leave them a note).

I'm glad whenever I find people that are actively embracing a move to the simpler way of life. Sometimes I feel like I'm weird for not having aspirations for a bigger house or better cars, like it seems like I either don't expect good things for myself or I'm too simple-minded to know that there is better out there. But I'm actually just happier living relatively simple. I remember when I moved into my first studio apartment, I was so happy to live in a space where everything I needed was within 15ft, no more of that annoying having to run upstairs to get something I forgot or search several different rooms to find something I lost. Life was just easier. It didn't mean I became more simple-minded, I was just less distracted by stupid stuff. And I have never understood the concept of working to gain more money. I work to sustain my lifestyle. I'd eventually like to earn enough that I will be able to afford health care for myself and/or Bonnie when the need arises. I'd like to be able to contribute my fair share in taking care of my parents when they are too old to do it for themselves. That's why I work. I don't work solely to buy more and more and more stuff.

I have lots of memories of moments growing up where I felt confused or disappointed when I didn't see what all the fuss was about when other people acted like something was such a big deal. Weird examples: I vividly remember Michael Jackson being a household name, someone as popular as the pope or the president. I was at a neighbor's house setting up Nintendo when a video of Michael Jackson's came on the tv and she told me that was Michael Jackson. I honestly didn't believe her, because, well, he was just a dude. He sang and danced really cool and all, but still, he was an entertainer like thousands of others. I didn't get why he was such a big deal. I felt that way when I really understood that to be a model meant you get to be one of those people that pose for advertisements in magazines. I mean, really? Why do we care? (Before I get hate mail, I should admit that I understand the underappreciated art that goes into fashion and fashion photography and a lot of work that models do.) I just don't see why it is on such a pedestal and why anyone would spend so much of their lives trying to be one. For some reason, I expected a model to be way cooler, like being Miss America (which, actually, was another disappointment). I can feel myself being vague and weird right now, but I'm not sure how to fix that. So...moving on.

The point is that I'm getting more and more aware of and comfortable with my real values. And I understand that a lot of people feel alone or weird for not being too materialistic or for not being a workaholic or whatever. But that's just silly.

Class Notes

2008-05-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

I'm in my final Dreamweaver class right now. I thought I'd update on here because its the easiest way for me to remember a few things he showed us since my pen isn't working and I know I'll never save it in my email.

www.projectseven.com: A dreamweaver plug-in website
Adobe exchange: Extensions for Adobe software
lynda.com ($25/month)
www.css-discuss.org
www.experts-exchange.com ($13/month)

*I also need to create a library of reusable code.

Randomness

2008-05-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Random Thoughts this Monday, May 19, 2008:

-We made sausage and eggs for breakfast, which means that Franco is pretending to be my pet friend and act like he's snuggling up to me for my attention, when in reality he is sneaking up to the uneaten sausage on my plate.

-My sanity is expected to improve this week, since it is the last week of classes. I'm finishing up some final projects (two of which are not due until a week or two after the last classes this week), and then I'll have many more hours to myself until June 17. Then begins my summer class: Photoshop! I feel like I have a relatively good grasp of photoshop in the sense that I can make photos web safe; I can crop and resize and all of that, but I'm not so good at the fancy work. I'm mediocre at using the tools and special effects. So this will be a good class for me to take this summer. It's two days a week, two hours each class and it costs lots of money. My first choice for my summer class was Javascript, but I signed up too late and now I'm first on the wait list, so I'm taking Photoshop instead. Such is life.

-Did you know that cat whiskers shed just like regular cat hair? I didn't know that. I learned that this morning when I awoke to find Elliot smashed up against the back of my head. He managed to take advantage of my lack of consciousness by taking over my pillow and letting me sleep at a really weird angle that has left my neck feeling a little "blah" right now. When I reclaimed my pillow, there was a huge cat whisker on it. It actually scared me for a second because I thought he was probably in pain, but then he jumped back on the dresser and started using his paw to knock over the lamp. He's fine.

-My sister sent me an email with a photo of her pregnant belly. It is very weird and awesome that my twin is pregnant. I can't wait until October. Her and her husband are moving into a new house over the next two weeks. I'm mildly sad and happy about this. I'm sad because their current (or former?) house is comfy and I have good memories there. But they are really excited about the new house, so I am happy for them. They were having some issues with their neighbors too, so it will be nice to move away from that creepiness.

-Bonnie and I are only four episodes away from being caught up on Lost. This is such an amazing show; I can't believe it has taken me this long to give it a try. Thank you Joe Roch for threatening the end of our friendships unless we started to watch it. Real friends don't let friends miss Lost.

The Boondocks

2008-04-21T21:01:00.001-07:00

When we decided to pack up the kids and head east to the scary-sounding hamlet of Hope Valley, RI, I expected to have to make a few internal adjustments.

I'd have to get used to the quiet.
I'd have to accept the fact that the majority of people wouldn't be my kind of people and deal with it.
I'd have to contain my road rage.
I'd probably be bored at least once a week.
I'd miss culture and have to make a pointed effort not to become too easily pleased with crappy television and mainstream movies.
I'd have to avoid family restaurants and frozen dinners.

Well. I was only about 50% right. Compared to New York City, it's quiet. But only in the sense that there aren't sirens so often that I don't notice them and there isn't Dominican music shaking the foundations of my building at 3am on a Monday night. However, there are A LOT of sounds and 80% of them come from the variety of wildlife in the area. There are birds. Cranky-sounding birds. Birds that sounds like they're dying. Birds that sound like they're in love. Birds that sound like they're easily amused by the repeated sound of their own chirps. There are squirrels. Lots of squirrels. They run around on the roof and its loud. They also manage to attract the attentions of our three cats, who in turn meow and dart from window to window knocking over any salt shaker or wine glasses in their path. There are peep frogs. Owls.

And then there are the man-made sounds: a town fire alarm that is tested at 7pm every evening, a church bell that chimes on the hour and plays Christian tunes for several minutes around noon on Sundays, school bells ringing, kids on recess, high-pitched creaking of playground swings, chainsaws from the neighbors who are clearing land to build a new house.

I don't have to get used to silence. It doesn't exist here. The major difference between here and the cities I have lived in for the past six years is that most of the sounds are a pleasure. Generally, I find myself trying to listen more than I try to block out.

So I thought I probably wouldn't dig most of the people out here. The truth is, I don't really dig most of the people anywhere. I'm not a huge social butterfly. I like my fantastic few and love them like family. I don't even need to hang out that often. I just need to know they're there when I need them. They're the kind of people I could probably not talk to for an entire year and I know that if I randomly called them up or wanted to hang out, they wouldn't be weirded out. And those people are available to me here as much as they are to me anywhere else. I don't get to see all of them as easily or as often as I used to, but really, that doesn't matter to me that much because my best friendships aren't the kind that would falter at the whim of distance or frequency. I've met a lot of truly awesome people out here too. Great people exist everywhere. In my life, the only place that proved that theory wrong has been Springfield, Illinois. While I didn't meet anyone awesome while I was there, I did sublease an apartment in NY from a guy who grew up there, and he was awesome. And my parents and oldest brother lived there for a few years too, and they're sort of awesome. Anyway, I work with some cool people. Some of our customers kick ass. I even like my elderly neighbors because they always say hello and how are you and they still give us a lot of privacy. I appreciate that.

As for the road rage, Rhode Island drivers are terrible and most of the roads here are single lanes. So generally, I've accustomed myself to leaving early enough to get wherever I'm going assuming that I'll be stuck behind a grandma going 20mph downhill. The main problem out here isn't that people are selfish or aggressive. It's that they simply don't pay attention. They swerve into oncoming traffic on an hourly basis. Most of the highway has rumble strips on the sides. They are way too trusting and way too distracted. And for some reason, everyone in Rhode Island freaks out on this one turn on the highway called the "Thurber's Avenue curve". It's true that it is a long turn and you can't see what is far ahead of you, but it really isn't even as intense as a common off-ramp. And why it causes so many accidents is beyond me because this state has some of the most windy roads I've ever experienced in my life. This turn is nothing in comparison. Rhode Islanders are still very much a mystery to me. But the road rage, generally speaking, is much better than in my Chicago days.

I'm not bored out here. Not at all. I wish I was. But I'm working full time, taking three classes, doing some freelance writing, and trying to do some housework and enjoy some free time as well. My problem is that there aren't enough hours in the day.

I haven't taken in much culture yet, but that's due to time constraints more than anything. In New York it was usually a money issue. Here, it's just a time issue. I've been reading the same book for about two months now. I've seen one movie all month (Stop Loss, very good). There hasn't been any theater, but I've never been a huge theater kid. I do have tickets to see Eddie Izzard on Monday...can't wait.

I have mainly avoided frozen foods (except pizzas, but that's nothing new). I have gone to restaurants like T.G.I. Friday's and Applebee's a bit more than I'd care to admit. The good news is that I've also gone to some really incredible places in our area and in Providence. It isn't that there isn't good food around. I've just been making lame choices and that can be changed.

My whole point with this blog is to say, I like it here a lot. Yesterday, I did yard work. I rowed a canoe in our pond. I went out for Chinese food. Today, I went to work and did homework. Tomorrow, I'll do homework and go to school. I'll then go watch an advanced screening for a movie I have to review by Friday. Now, I'm drinking some wine and I'm about to go to bed to read for a while.

This whole "moving to the boondocks" thing: It's a good gig. It's more than just knowing it's the right thing for right now. I'm actually feeling good at the same time. Score.

My Life Update

2008-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty ridiculously happy with the way things in life are going these days. I'm living in a place I never would have anticipated, but I suppose that's part of its appeal to me. Every day I wake up and think, "Wow, it's so weird that I'm here. Cool."

I love New England. I've only lived here during the drabbest, coldest months of the year and I swear I've experienced more sun than I did in Chicago or New York. Grey, cloudy and damp: I still think its ridiculously beautiful. The country out here isn't like the country out in Illinois where I'm from. The farms are small and very much a part of the community. I don't see acre after endless acre of nothing but corn and cows. There are just small plots of land, bordered by trees and stonehenges, with neighbors all around. There are lots of roadside fruit stands.

Rhode Island is chock full of really random and weird stuff that just comes out of nowhere too. I've been meaning to document them as I witness, but I don't have a healthy relationship with my camera at the moment.

Now spring is moving in and I'm welcomed to my next surprise. Jack and Rob, the dudes who lived in this house prior, had apparently planted tons of perennials around the house. They are popping up like mad. We've been working on the inside for months: knocking out walls, painting, tiling, adding trim and wainscotting, replacing windows and doors, etc. Now I'm ready to give it a rest on the interior and start work outside. I feel like I haven't had enough since I moved to Chicago in 2001.

I like my job. It's simple. I work at an independent bookstore in a converted house. It used to belong to some prominent townsfolk who owned a ton of land, and they donated most of their property to the city of Westerly. So now, I get to work in a place located right across from a beautiful park. Shakespeare in the Park is about to start, so that should be fun. The people I work with are pretty cool too; they're sufficiently sarcastic and weird for me.

I'm taking classes at the Rhode Island School of Design (nick-named "rissdy"). I'm learning how to make pretty web pages for pretty people. Or ugly people. Whatever. While I definitely wouldn't mind getting a nice job/business going where I make professional web pages for businesses, I have to admit that I'm also highly turned on by the creative, artsy side of things and I like to play with Flash for my own amusement. I have great visions of totally useless art. Ask me sometime about my clogging army. It's going to be amazing.

Anyway.

Oh, I'm also freelancing for the Newport Mercury. I recently wrote an essay about how I bestow bad luck on any team I decide to root for. My main job for them is to be a film reviewer though.

So most of my life is work, school, freelancing, and renovations. However, in those few hours that I reclaim by skipping class and not sleeping enough, I am catching up on "Lost". I am on the fifth episode of season three and I really think Hurley needs someone to love who doesn't get killed. I also don't know what the fuck is up with those scary extras that just showed up without no introduction.

I've been reading a lot too, but I haven't actually finished any books because I've been utilizing the library system and I can't ever finish a book before I have to return it. Someday, I'll finish the "Time Traveler's Wife" because it's awesome. I'm currently working on "The Ground Beneath Her Feet" by Salman Rushdie. It's amazing me.

What else what else what else? We threw a house warming party that had most of our close friends from the New York and New England area attend. It was perfect. I love my people.

I've been missing a few friends that I haven't seen for too long from Chicagoland. I'm hoping that once finances sort themselves out, I'll be able to make a trip to O'hare soon.

Bonnie just launched a new blog called http://listofnow.wordpress.com. Check it out.

That's my life in a nutshell. xo

Life is pretty good

2008-01-25T16:43:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love the smell of cooking in my house. I am sitting on a Darcy-sized super comfy brown armchair with ottoman, a glass of red wine to my left, in view of our kitchen where Bonnie is cooking steak on a cast iron skillet with corn on the cob boiling on the adjacent burner. Oh, there are also baked beans in the works. There are three cats running around. I have a generic Target version of a Breathe Right on. It's pretty sexy. I am wearing an awesome new orange sweater mailed to me as a surprise from my favorite store, Denise's Closet (that's my sister in case you didn't catch that one).

I have applied for a few jobs. I have registered for three web development classes at the Rhode Island School of Design. I am on my way to a new career, I hope.

I am getting over the embarrassing emotion of feeling mildly shocked and saddened at the death of Heath Ledger.

I am enjoying imaging a female or black president of the United States. If I had to bet my life's savings (OK, that's not fair since I don't have any), I'd bet that it will be a Clinton/McCain showdown with Clinton prevailing. But it's still quite a wild guess probably influenced by a lot of wishful thinking. I am leaning towards Hillary over Obama, partly because I really want to see a female president, partly because I want a male first lady, and because I just relate to her a bit more. But honestly, I'd be happy with either. I don't like Edwards much. And McCain is the best of the worst, which is kind of good because he's the worst we might get stuck with, but he's also the hardest for a democrat to beat, in my humble opinion.

I'm reading a few relatively crappy books that I secretly enjoy (just finished "Faith of my Fathers" by John McCain and some other writer, and now I'm working on "The Lost Painting" by Jonathan Harr). I just finished reading "The Yiddish Policeman's Union" by Michael Chabon out loud to Bonnie. I'm glad I read it out loud to her, because I'm not sure I would have followed it easily without her. It's an excellent read though, once you get into it. New self revelation: I really like the word "verbover".

I had a vivid dream last night that I think is the result of unconscious anxiety about going back to school an leaving the urban lifestyle so suddenly.

I'm going to eat now.

Disney breakfast

2008-01-01T13:00:00.001-08:00

It's 2008! Election year baby! If this becomes Huckabee country; I'm killing myself. But let's wait and see.

We went to Bonnie's grandma's house for a little New Year's Day breakfast. Her cousin Rachel made me blueberry Mickey Mouse waffles, which was pretty awesome. Back in the day, Mickey Mouse waffles were simply made of one large waffle for a head and two small waffles for ears. But this morning, I was served a one-piece waffle, complete with concave mouth, nose, and eyes. I think I would have enjoyed a Mickey Mouse waffle-maker as a child. I'm sort of sad that didn't exist back then.

I'll really be impressed when someone can come up a with one-piece Mickey Mouse pancake, complete with mouth, nose and eyes.

New Year's Eve

2007-12-31T07:05:00.000-08:00

Ahh, another wonderful morning to wake up to in Rhode Island. Last night, Bonnie and I stopped by the local Stop 'n Shop, which is admittedly dated and mildly depressing with its 1970's architecture and fluorescent lighting. I expected to find some cheap little meals like frozen pizzas that we could buy just to get us through this week since all of our cooking supplies are buried together in cardboard boxes. There was actually a lot of organic and natural food there. Who knew?

I am currently drinking Bustelo coffee, a latino brand in a fantastic yellow tin that I became accustomed to while living next door to a bodega in NY. I thought it was probably a rather rare coffee in the states, kind of a latino version of Folger's, that I'd only be able to find in a bodega in the middle of a Dominican neighborhood in NYC. I was quite delighted to find it on the bottom shelf of Stop 'n Shop in Hope Valley, RI. Again, who knew?

Today's goals:
*finish painting kitchen cabinets
*start painting kitchen walls
*put clothes away
*unload some kitchen goods
*welcome in the New Year with a glass of wine

~bye~

Finding Coffee in Hope Valley

2007-12-29T11:38:00.000-08:00

Wow, my life has moved non-stop for a while now. I'm overall very very happy about the state of things, although there is a strong feeling that nothing seems real or permanent.

Bonnie and I are now officially in our new home in Rhode Island. I woke up this morning after spending my first night in our new bedroom on our own bed (we've been sleeping on couches in the living room up until now). There were three cats sleeping with me, which was quite delightful since two of them, the boys, have spent about two days hiding and shivering in random dark corners of closets and cabinets. They are suffering from sensory overload, which surprisingly started before we even left the NY apartment. After most of the furniture was moved out to the UHaul, we let them out of the bathroom and they freaked out because everything was so different. Elliott even tried to climb up the blinds, successfully pulling them down. So the fact that they were joining me on my bed was proof that they are starting to get used to this crazy new place. Now I can't walk without nearly stepping on Elliott because he's following me everywhere I go.

Our bedroom is a light blue green, near robin's egg blue. When we first painted it a few weeks ago on one of our weekend trips out here, we were really worried that it was much brighter than we had anticipated. I was feeling guilty because I talked Bonnie into it; she had wanted a slight greener color that was lighter. Neither one of us wanted the room to be too intense. Anyhow, now that our stuff is in it and we have natural light coming in instead of flood lights for painting, it looks fine. It's just how I pictured it and I love it. So does Bonnie.

It's small, with two windows that open up onto the side of our house and the backyard. When I'm on the bed, all I can see out of both windows are the tops of trees and the sky. The color of our room matches the outside very well, almost like the windows are picture frames...a nice way to start a day.

Bonnie was gone, attending her paternal grandfather's funeral. It was my first time alone in my new house, and what would I find but no coffee! The coffee pot could be in any of the dozens of boxes. Sigh, so I took a shower (not bad for well water, the pressure is a bit less but the temperature was fine), got dressed, and decided I'd take advantage of my legs and walk to a little bakery that we ate at yesterday. They only accept cash or check and since I had neither, I decided I'd walk all the way to the town's library in hopes that I'd come across an ATM on the way. I did pass one place that said it had an ATM, but I was mistakenly under the impression that it was a bar and I've heard that the townies can be a little scary so I passed it up. By the time I got to the library it was closing, so I turned around and decided I'd suck it up and go into the bar. It was a convenience store. Haha, oops.

So I got my coffee and started to walk back, when all of a sudden a minivan pulls up behind me and someone in the passenger seat calls out to me. I turned around and it was Bonnie's parents, laughing at me. So I smiled and asked if I could hitch a ride and they laughed and drove me up to their house. Bonnie and Dan arrived at our house right as I was walking in the door.

So that has been my morning, but there is so much more that has happened over the holidays and that is going on right now. But for the sake of ending a blog entry before it morfs into a blog novella, I shall say tata for now.

Lovely New York

2007-12-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

Since my sleep schedule is so backwords by most people standards, meaning that I am more awake at night and sleep during most of the day, I decided that it would be a wonderful experience for me to walk around downtown during the early hours of dawn. I took that A train down to 4th St. and transfered to the B, which I thought would take me to Delancey Street. Even after over two years here, I still can't figure out how to get around. I knew I made an error when the train started to go above ground. I found myself on a train crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, which turned out to be a beautiful sight as the sun was just rising. At the first stop in Brooklyn, I got off and took the next train headed back to Manhattan.

I just walked around for over an hour, north through Chinatown and the Lower East Side, into the East Village and then I headed west through the West Village until I ended up at 14th St. and 8th Ave to take the A line back north to meet Bonnie for breakfast at the diner on Dykeman. The walk and the air and the beautiful day just put me in a great place. I feel really good right now. I feel very lucky to be able to watch New York City wake up on a chilly bright December morning. This is the kind of stuff the city is all about; a nice private little ceremony to sort of say farewell for now.

Inspiration

2007-12-10T23:09:00.001-08:00

I went on a job interview today and was actually highly impressed by the questions that I was asked. I'm usually pretty uncomfortable during interviews and actually hate talking about myself because it typically ends up feeling like I'm explaining the same boring details about my life over and over again.

I left this interview feeling like I just finished a constructive therapy session. Hm, interesting. Anyway, he got me talking about inspiration in the work place, which got me to thinking about inspiration in general.

There are a great many things that inspire me, but there are two that I am revisiting often lately, and I'd love to share them. The first can be viewed here: Jennifer Holliday singing "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" during the 1982 Tony Awards. Oh My God. I think I've watched it at least twice a week for the last month.

And my other bit of inspiration is this piece of writing by author Neil Gaiman where one of my favorite characters of his, Sam, a bad-ass red-haired woman from his book "American Gods", goes on this little soliloquy when asked what she believes:

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and The Beatles and Elvis and Mr. Ed. Listen-I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just over-grown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline of drive-in movie theatres from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that anti-bacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in "War of the Worlds". I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian Shaman. I believe that Mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble-bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it, it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and overseas everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and no-one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, life is a cruel joke and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

Weekend Fix-Up #1

2007-11-26T09:40:00.000-08:00

I am in such a strangely weird fantastic place...both literally and figuratively. Bonnie and I are in Rhode Island painting a few rooms in our soon to be new home. We're also taking the time to really walk through each room and the yard and visualize what we want to do with the place.

I feel alive in a way that I haven't in a very long time. I miss having nature affect me so much. This place is awaking my senses with so many unexpected moments. I feel that same newness that the big city used to give me all the time. It's true; I learned to take so much of it for granted, but it got hard not to. It's certainly time to step back from New York, learn to appreciate this new environment in my life, and then really feel the buzz and the beauty on my city visits (and maybe, down the line, on my great return...who knows).

I feel so at home already, and this house isn't even well insulated, painted, or remotely finished in any way. And yet, it's still so beautiful and exactly what I need right now. I'm obsessed with the ducks in the pond. They swim around in packs of anywhere from three to thirty and they have yet to cease to amuse me. Their occasional quacking disrupts the quiet around here. I enjoy that. The trees are so old and tall and really powerful. I think they nearly steal the show from the pond for me. They smell so good and it literally seems like the sky is raining leaves right now. It's almost a challenge to see the contours of our yard because of the massive amounts of leaves. I want to go and rake them, simply because I love to rake, but they are actually good for the ground. So I have to leave them where they are. It isn't like we don't have enough to do; I really shouldn't waste time on futile tasks. But I want big soggy piles of leaves!!

The centerpiece of the house is definitely the stone fireplace. Bonnie's dad tried lighting the fire a while ago and smoke filled the house, so he thought it wouldn't work well as a real fireplace and went out and bought a gas fireplace/set/whatever it's called to put inside of it. When I heard that news, I was pretty bummed. But when we saw it, it was so hideous that we insisted on taking it out and trying again. It works! Lesson learned: Dirt and moisture on a log can create way too much smoke, so before you scrap your beautiful fireplace, scrap your crappy wood.

I'll probably write more later, but I need to clean up before we had out for Bonnie's job interview. Wish the girl some luck.

favorite things

2007-09-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

Bonnie, in her new and pretty blog, just wrote about wanting to do a list of 100 favorite things, which are basically things that are exceptionally special to that person for random reasons. I wanted to make one. This isn't just a list of general things I like, but things that mean something special to me. But I'm doing 50, not 100. I'm only about half as grateful as Bonnie.

1. small variety boxes of cereal
2. Franco, Elliott, and Jersey...our cats
3. Francis Scott Key
4. the smell of elementary schools
5. coffee
6. Kate Bush's Aeriel CD
7. incense
8. my tiny sample of Prada cologne
9. a green shirt my sister bought me
10. 8-ball T-shirt
11. Sundays
12. the Rhode Island accent
13. Rhode Island
14. the game of Risk
15. Where's Waldo books
16. reading Harry Potter books out loud
17. the Angels in America miniseries on DVD
18. La Paella
19. Cafe Gigi
20. trampolines
21. Des Moines, IA
22. Reese's Pieces
23. Pinot Grigio
23. the Sunday New York Times
24. the Googleplex
25. the Circle Line
26. Antony Heggarty
27. Rick Bayless
28. London
29. Virgin Airlines
30. Adobe Creative Suite Design Studio
31. Big Brother USA season 8
32. cab rides
33. Dumbo, the neighborhood in Brooklyn
34. An American Tail
35. Equus
36. Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia
37. El Vez, a Mexican restaurant in Philadelphia
38. mimosas
39. Washington Square Park
40. St. Mark's Church
41. Bangston's Farm
42. trappist monks
43. staying up all night
44. Lindt white chocolate
45. my laptop
46. my bed
47. cardboard boxes that Jersey squeezes herself into
48. the multimedia painting Bonnie made for me
49. my pencil drawing from high school
50. the memories of my grandparent's house

Know the people you affect the most

2007-09-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

I think it should be an American custom that every incoming president and member of Congress eats dinner with citizens from the poorest areas in this country before taking oath.

Fall's Awakening

2007-09-13T21:45:00.001-07:00

This summer is drawing to a close. This has been an incredibly enlightening summer for me. I have had so much time to explore myself without having to spend the bulk of my energy working for someone else doing something that ultimately means very little to me or to the world (or even to the people posed to gain the most from it). What a waste of love and energy.

This summer has been about finding myself again. And realizing that living in the moment is not an escape from dealing with the future or ignoring the past but truly living by my principles at all times. By being in tune with earth and an international world instead of simply the New York economy.

I've had so many wonderful moments. A trip to Rochester to visit a close friend. I have experienced Niagra Falls and felt its water on my face. I've allowed myself to wake and sleep according to my own natural rhythms. I feel so in tune with the world because I've had a chance to experience it purely and not by being in the midst of the daily grind, the system, the way things are done to meet capitalist pursuits.

This has in many ways been a spiritual summer for me. I feel so open right now. And I feel so much love again. I'm not afraid.

Random Ramblings

2007-08-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

This is the perfect Saturday. I have a new laptop, which has resulted in me spending a ridiculous amount of my morning playing Scrabble through the Scrabulous application on Facebook with Bonnie. We could play Scrabble together in the 3D world (how sad that I have actually referred to reality as the 3D world), but there is something more pathetic and amusing about playing a virtual version while sitting in separate corners of our living room. It also allows for easier multitasking.

This isn't meant to take the place of actually playing Scrabble, and thus enjoying quality time together. It is an altogether different activity. As Bonnie says--and I'm paraphrasing here--it is simply another vehicle to bring Scrabble into. We are simply INCLUDING Scrabble into an activity that we would still be doing. In short, we are doing Scrabble a favor.

Doggy Daycare!

2007-02-16T12:05:00.000-08:00

The Boss asked me if I wanted to go with her to the pet store to buy a bigger cat bed for the office's three cats since they've grown too big to all be in the same bed at the same time. They used to like to cuddle together to keep warm, and now that isn't an option. So off we went to the pet store, and ended up spending 45 minutes watching doggy daycare through a glass window. It was amazing. The Boss called everyone else at the office and told them to lock up and come and look at the dogs. And they did. A total of seven of us came to stare at 50 dogs crammed into one room with one guy in the middle yelling at them and looking annoyed at our presense. It was awesome.

And then we watched as this girl brought her litle puppy in for his first day of doggy daycare, and she was nervous. And all of the other doggies came up to it to check out the newbie. And then big dogs started barking at it and the girl got really nervous. It was a while before she felt comfortable enough leaving.

I love my life.

Also, last night, I went to a fundraising event for AIDS to take pictures of the famous folk like Tim Gunn, Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (who was very nice and smiley), and Josie from Top Chef. There were supposed to be other people like Anderson Cooper and Barbra Walters, but I left before they arrived. I had a camera with no viewfinder and no zoom in/out capabilities, so the quality of my photo taking is probably rather painful. But whatever. I did my best.

And now I am going to work a little bit and cut out early so that I can clean the apartment and start cooking for the 2nd monthly POT LUCK! Woohooooo!

Stalked

2007-01-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

So, I have a stalker. It's a boy. He stares at me constantly. He follows me around. He feels the need to put his paws on me whenever he can. His name is Franco. He's my cat.

He is OBSESSED with me lately and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. He isn't like this with my girlfriend. The other cats have their moments like all cats do; but this is different. And it has only been for the last month or so.

He will sit in front of me on the coffee table STARING at me for ridiculous stretches of time, sometimes over half an hour. When I'm at the computer, he comes and sits on the table to my left and stares at me the same way. If I pat my lap, he instantly climbs on while still staring up at me, looking so thankful for my attention.

He's like a prepubescent boy experiencing blind infatuation for the first time. I feel like I have him whipped. It makes me feel dirty.

I wish I could have a little talk with him about how girls don't really like it when boys stare at them. And that I know it feels like he can't stop
wanting my attention and he can't control it, but I'm sure this obsessive feeling will pass and he'll survive. I can't give him all of the lap time and petting that he craves.

I really don't need verification that I'm always being stared at; I'm paranoid enough. Damn it Franco.

Right Now

2006-12-31T13:14:00.000-08:00

RIGHT NOW:

Book I'm reading: Atonement--Ian McEwan
Listening to: Groove Is In The Heart--Deelite
Clothes I'm wearing: brown v-neck long sleeve shirt, jeans with a big hole in the knee, mismatched dark colored socks, black shoes without arch support, underwear with PINK and black stripes, white bra. Tiny silver hoop earing. Mmmhmm.

If the song changes while I'm typing my right now stuff do I have to update it? I'm now listening to Praise You by Fatboy Slim. And now I have to find Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim on YouTube because it sparked a conversation about the video and there is a pressing need to watch Christopher Walken dance.

And now Black Hole Sun is on by Soundgarden and I have to dedicate it to my imploding Christmas tree which is not only folding in on itself and eating all of our ornaments, but is also in the process of creating a region of space-time where escape to the outside universe is impossible (wikipedia= "black hole"). So, anyways.

I had a lovely brunch with Bonnie and Jonathan at Manajuana where I enjoyed unlimited mimosas (I think I had four), fruit, french toast, bacon, a piece of steak, and a large chunk of chicken fat that I refused to eat.

I plan on reading the Times, at least until I get sick of reading about Hussein being hanged. Actually, I'm already sick of hearing about that; it's rather barbaric and disturbing to me. So I'm choosing to be over it and skipping to the arts & entertainment and books sections. Because I'd rather think about cultural things that illuminate my understanding of the human condition, rather than reading about what humans are actually up to these days.

Now I'm listening to Love Is Our Cross To Bear by John Gorka. I'd like to point out that I keep stopping to do other things, so it's not like I am taking so long to type two sentences that a whole new song comes on. Now it's Unsquare Dance by Dave Brubeck and my cat Franco is staring at me.

Tonight I will be going to Cafe Gigi for pizza and wine. Mmmm.

Happy New Year my loves!

It's been a while.

2006-12-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

Oh, it has been way too long since I've updated my blog. I even forgot my password! I had to try a dozen variations before I got it right. But all is good. I broke in and now I'm ready to post again for the first time in months.

I have to say that life is pretty damn peachy right now. I've pretty much played all day. And right now, I shit you not, Bonnie just turned on the television and the end of Ghost is on right now where Molly is seeing Sam as a ghost about to follow the light and they kiss goodbye.

I was planning on going to the theater tonight to work, but Bonnie convinced me that I should instead meet her at Washington Square Park. And I did and we ate at Suzie's where I had authentic curry chicken a strawberry daquiri and a really strong mai tai. Then we went up to Target in Marble Hill and bought a new coffee pot because our old one kicked it and my good friend Jamesdavid hooked us up with a generous gift certificate to Target so that we good get our coffee fix easily every day.

Then we came home and played Scrabble, drank coffee from our new coffeemaker, listened to This American Life. I read a little bit (currently working on Atonement by Ian McEwan because my friend Kevin loves it and recommended it).

Checked out the news. Now I'm updating my blog. I'm starting to get some job prospects...both full time real ones and an ongoing freelance gig.

My sister cut my hair and I like it. Christmas was pretty good. My niece and nephew were fun.

My niece, Grace, was so excited to play with Bonnie and I and it just made me really happy because I remember when I was about her age (three) and I got to play with my aunts and uncles and it was awesome. And it was the crazy kind of play that involves screaming and tickling that parents usually tell you to stop doing, but since we were two adults engaging them with it...it was all cool. And Gracie called Bonnie "Aunt Bonnie" which was sort of unexpected and totally cute. AND, Gracie asked me if I was her daddy's sister and I find that sort of amusing because it's obviously strange for her to think of her daddy having a sister. And I totally relate because I sometimes think how strange it is that my dad, WJ, is a brother and actually has several siblings. He's just such a dad, you know?

The whole family was doing well. My mom did well with her gift giving and seemed to have pretty much stopped showering us with her year-round QVC purchases.

Yes, all is good right now.

WTF is the Deal with the WTC site?

2006-10-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

This stuff needs to stop so that people can move forward. Digging up roads to look for remains? I'm sorry, but we don't need small bone fragments in order to mourn our dead. We do need functioning cities, roads, and money to help people who really need it. Argh.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10272006/news/regionalnews/wtc_hunt_to_expand_regionalnews_.htm

Me On Writing

2006-08-29T21:55:00.000-07:00

I've been writing in a "real" journal, trading in the binary for some moleskin and ink, a lot more than usual these past few days. I got all deep in it, you'd think I was stoned. But really, I'm just deep. I know.

This is a part of what I wrote verbatim:

"I just stopped to talk to Bonnie about how much I'm loving writing lately. I can't even fully explain why, but it just always feels so good while and after I'm doing it. It's like reading. Or its like love in the way that there are a million and one ways to describe the feeling of it, almost all of them equally capturing its essence and yet never satisfying it all together. I don't even know why or how, but it just IS healthy. If I think about it, words and feelings and thoughts are going through my head all of the time. And so few of those thoughts actually get expressed, and if they do, they have to go through filters like culture and self image and so on. But you can only let so much out to other people (and if you're lucky, you have some people who you can be unusually open with in your every day life...as I am). But what happens to all of that other stuff? All of those thoughts and feelings that occur and don't really go anywhere, but either come and go only to return again and again and again, or go by and leave before being appreciated, or wont go anywhere no matter what else you try to concentrate on? I think most of those thoughts turn into things. Neurosis. Stress. Fears. Ennui. Obsession. Skewed reality. I can't think of very much that is good that comes from unexpressed thoughts and feelings. Well, actually, for some people I can think of, suppression probably wouldn't hurt (read: Anne Coulter)."

Ha! Talk about Nice Racks

2006-08-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

My pirate name is:

Calico Mary Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

They?

2006-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hm...as long as they don't do those shadow cast things.

2006-08-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

I need another frozen blood orange margarita. Mmm.

2006-08-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

So this week has been that awful kind that not only reverses all of the positive energy I brought back with me from vacation two weeks ago, but also drops me off somewhere in the middle of hodunck Myspace finding out what happened to all of those strangers I went to high school with.

The Christians have gotten to them! OMG. My graduating class turned into a bunch of holy rollers (and two Moody Bible students). There was also a disturbing number of car photos, beer backgrounds, Cubs fans, and tacky animated cheesiness.

Firefly

2006-08-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

Your results:
You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)

Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		90%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		80%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		70%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		70%
River (Stowaway)		50%
Inara Serra (Companion)		40%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		40%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		35%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		30%
Alliance		25%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		20%

You are good at fixing things.
You are usually cheerful.
You appreciate being treated
with delicacy and specialness.

Click here to take the Serenity Firefly Personality Test

Mission Impossible

2006-07-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm at work putting used books online. Monotonous right? Never. Take the current book I am entering for example. It is a mystery called Gas Head Willy by Richard J. Thomas. Signed by the author to Henry Czerny, an actor in such blockbuster hits at Mission Impossible and the Pink Panther. The message says, "For Henry Czerny- Who Will You Play in the Film? Enjoy! Richard J. Thomas." And you'd think that would be fantastic. A collectible!

But...there is also a doodle in pen of a naked man on the inside front pages. As well as a stick-figure trapped in a web. So...how do I actually describe this on my amazon item description?

That is all.

Kevin Baker

2006-06-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

I recently finished a book by Kevin Baker called Dreamland. It is "a novel breathtaking in its scope of ambition, it is the epic saga of newcomers drawn to the promise of America-gangsters and laborers, hucksters and politicians, radicals, reformers, murderers, and sideshow oddities-whose stories of love, revenge, and tragedy interweave and shine in the artificial electric dazzle of a wondrous place called Dreamland."

This book is one of those fantastic historical fiction novels that make me slightly cringe at calling it fiction. Baker meticulously researched the time period, including the people, politics, and major events that actually happened and existed. He successfully gives the reader an accurate portrayel of the lives of early 20th century New York immigrants.

Did you know that there was an attraction at Coney Island called Liliputia that was a tiny recronstructed Nuremburg populated by midgets and dwarfs? It's true. People would pay to watch them go about their daily lives. Over 300 midgets and dwarfs lived in Liliputia, even when the park was not open. They even had their own fire department; while it responded to at least one false fire alarm a day just to give the spectators a show, they actually did respond to a real fire in 1911 that burned Dreamland to the ground.

Anyway, I just wanted to share a good writer with those who are interested. KevinBaker.info

I'm looking for words that are so well rehearsed...you change the equation I add up to and all of the things that I thought I knew.

2006-06-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Whenever I make a major change in my life, like moving to a new place, I retrace the places and people and choices that resulted in me living in my current situation. And then I compare how my life is now to how I pictured my life would be ten or so years ago. With a certain degree of shame, I am about to admit that my current situation is very similar to some documentary I had seen on MTV many many years ago (maybe when I was in junior high or early high school).

The documentary, if that's even what it was...it could have been just a regular episode of some random tv show for all I remember...was about relationships of twentysomethings. First major breakups. First true loves. The whole gamut. There was a young couple, maybe mid-twenties, and they were moving into an apartment together. I'm fairly confident it was in NYC. And I remember a shot of the boyfriend and girlfriend lightly bickering under the stress of lifting some heavy furniture up a staircase. And I just remember thinking they looked really cool. Like they were so grown up and that they had their own place and their own furniture and they were ready to committ to something serious.

And when I watched that, it seemed like a lifestyle that was so foreign to me that it didn't even occur to me that my life could be even close to that. I thought I'd be dating a man, somewhere in the burbs, working some typical job. Nothing outside of what I already knew.

But here I am. In an apartment. In New York City (never saw that coming). With a girlfriend. With incredibly diverse friends. I drink wine and tea...hardly ever soda. I say soda now instead of pop. I read books. I don't give a shit about the Real World or MTV (honestly, I remember wondering if I'd ever get bored with the Real World and MTV...this was a legitamate curiosity to me). I have short hair and I'm not ashamed of it. I have rather large breasts and I'm ok with it. I have cats. CATS. I am one of those people who has not driven a car in months...soon I will be a person who hasn't driven a car in years. I talk politics. I don't even believe in god anymore. I do believe in acupuncture however.

All of these things. All of these things that have happened to or changed within me. It's amazing. And I'm so happy. Happier than I imagined was possible.

Sometimes I don't know why I'm so lucky. But then I think for a moment, and then I conclude that life fucking owed me a moment...because that whole childhood thing was fucking hard.

Randomness

2006-06-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

So it is Sunday morning and Franco is on my lap demanding attention and he's getting it because he's being pretty damn cute. Bonnie and her brother Jon are on a couch to my right talking about how silly parents can be.

We are in our new crib...it's fantastic. I haven't loved an apartment like this since our last one in Chicago, and this is better because it is in the city where we want to be.

Last night, I sanitized the bathroom like nobody's business. I'm a little queasy about stranger germs in my house in general, but especially in the bathroom.

Drinking iced coffee. Listening to Sufjan Stevens. Trying to talk Jon into walking home to enjoy the view (he lives about 130 blocks away). Haha.

I love long walks. I walked from 94th street to Union Square a few weeks ago; that took about 2 hours (80 blocks), and then I called Bonnie and decided that I should take the subway back up to her and we'd take a cab over to the Lincoln Center to see David Blaine in the bubble.

That is all for now.

Superhero

2006-06-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Superhero

May 28th, 2006 (10:02 pm)

Your results:
You are Robin

This is so right on. When I lived in Des Moines, the neighborhood kids were obsessed with Batman and we always dressed up in various characters to play Batman. I was ALWAYS Robin and my friend's mom used to pin a yellow towel to my shoulders. Awesome.

Robin		85%
Hulk		80%
Superman		75%
Iron Man		70%
The Flash		70%
Wonder Woman		65%
Green Lantern		65%
Supergirl		65%
Spider-Man		60%
Catwoman		55%
Batman		55%

Young and acrobatic.
You don't mind stepping aside
to give someone else glory.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" qui

Quiz

2006-06-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

Which Unwanted
Sexual Gesture Are You?

Made by the fine folks at
daylighttwilight.com

I watched boys n the hood last night.

2006-05-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

My updating has been rather erratic. Damn, this month is flying by!

I've basically just been working and planning all the new apartment details. I can not wait until we have our own space again. Our roommate is a fantastic person, but I'm just so done with roommates. I am at a point in my life where I need to walk out of a shower naked damn it. I need to be able to stay up later than Bonnie and not keep her awake with my television watching, computer playing, reading with the light on habits. Which means that I need a living room. A place in my apartment to be by myself.

I need my cats to stop freaking out and have some space to run.

Very excited about all of this.

The Lion King gig is about to wrap up. June 4th is the last day that it will play at the New Amsterdam Theater. Then I guess I'll just work more hours at the bookstore to pick up some cash.

OK, I'm tired of typing now.

Enjoy the day.

Found a Great Apartment

2006-04-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

Sweet. We just found ourselves a large one bedroom apartment in Inwood, $925/mnth rent stabalized. Fantastic. We're sub-leasing from a guy who is moving to Madison, WS because his girlfriend is a professor at the University of Wisconsin. Her contract is for three years and he has no idea if they'll come back after it is over, but he loved the apartment so much and the fact that it is rent stabalized that he didn't want to let go of it. So we're drawing up a contract and we're going to get it notarized, so it's a pretty safe deal for us. We're starting on a one year lease.

It's a first floor apartment, large living room, hallway, big bedroom, two closets, wood floors...washer/dryer in building. And my favorite two aspects...near the 1 train and about a block away from a huge ass park that has huge cliffs and overlooks the Hudson River. It's right by the Cloisters. Fun fun.

We'll actually being paying less rent than we are now, which is absolutely fantastic. We'll be able to buy some nice furniture and pay off some bills. Basically, this will give us the means to get our asses settled.

I Love Dick Buckley

2006-04-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

If you comment...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie/recipe reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you - that I remember.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

Brilliant Disguise

2006-04-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't been reading much at all this week. I realized that I hardly ever listen to music anymore, and I miss it. Part of this problem is that we don't have a cd player, but the other problem is that I simply became numb and bored with the act of listening to music in general.

I'm still not sure why. I think it's a combination of reasons, mainly that I over did it back in the day. Music became a neurotic escape from everything else and I actually could easily waste six hours away just lying on my back listening (or dancing when no one is looking). And I actually think I had to cut myself off...if only to develop some other hobbies. And then I just got really into books. And that's not a bad thing, but I do need my music a bit more again. The music-free ice age is melting. So I loaded 20-30 mp3 onto my little toy mp3 player this week and the voices of Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Poe, and some other dudes and chicks have been making my train rides all the more pleasant.

Listening to music makes me feel like working out. Well, that's a stretch. It makes me feel like looking like Pink or something. God, if only I wasn't tone deaf, I'd be a rock star. It's so damn appealing.

So, yes. I feel like my head is coming out of the books a little bit and remembering why I loved music so much a long time ago. Once I have some spare money, I'm buying us a cd player and some tangible cds. None of this MP3 shit. I want the real cheap plastic packages with linear notes.

That is all.

Mets/Yanks

2006-04-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight has been one of those unexpected and unplanned fantastic nights. I got home from work around 6:30, went to DTUT to meet up with Bonnie and our friend Dan, who is moving back to NY from Paris. This is very exciting. He makes me feel sane. We just hung out drinking wine and talking about our lives. Then Bonnie and I went out to eat some yummy italian food and tiramisu, then went back to DTUT to talk Mets/Yankees baseball and play cards...and then I came home. I got IM'd by my girlfriend's brother's lesbian posse and was informed that they are making a fan club in my honor on facebook. I've never actually used/seen facebook as I can't remember my college e-mail address, but I'm sufficiently honored and creeped out by it nonetheless.

So I've been thinking a lot about this Mets and Yankees issue. I feel like I can only really be committed to one team, as two requires just too much energy. Now the Yankees have always been the more obvious New York team to me. But now that I live here, pretty much everyone I know happens to be a Mets fan (if they care about baseball at all). I think I'm leaning towards the Mets. First of all, cheaper tickets. Second, the yankees play against the White Sox, and I'd rather not have to choose between those two. Third, the Mets play against the Cubs, and that's an easy choice. And Jon Stewart is a Mets fan. That should count for something.

This summer, I'll try to make it to one of both teams' games before I officially make up my mind. In the end, I'll probably come to the same conclusion I came to in Chicago. Really, it's just baseball and I don't give a damn. Unless my team is in the world series. Then I care for about two weeks.

Be sexy. Always.

2006-04-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

Fucking fantastic weekend.

Currently:
eating Carr's whole wheat crackers with gouda and brie cheese.
cooking spinach pasta with alfredo sauce and chicken.
listening to the Jon mix #1.
getting pumped to watch some Buffy.

Earlier today:
woke up around 1 p.m.
shopped on-line for new t-shirts.
ate Bonnie's textbook-perfect eggs in a basket with crunchy turkey bacon.
made and drank weak coffee.

Yesterday:
Rode the Circle Line boats. Most relaxing thing I've experience since...I think our random road trip to Des Moines, Iowa. Don't laugh. I have my reasons. This was a two-hour excursion down the west side of Manhattan, around the southern tip, partly up the east river and back...during sunset. It was so fucking beautiful. We have some good photos. Might post soon.

I'm also getting really excited about moving in about a month and a half. It's always fun to check out apartments. Even more fun to actually live in them. I've been inspired by browsing apartmenttherapy.com's smallest apartment contest entries.

Married Lezbos and Pesach

2006-04-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at work taking a break to eat curry rice rolls and goof off on the internet.

As usual, I am updating with very little time to elaborate.

A married latina chick at the theater seems to be a bit flirty with me. That's always interesting. She says things like, "I've never had a chance to be with a woman, but..." and goes on to explain how she imagines the differences between being with a guy vs. a girl. Then, in response to my statement about how I am pretty good at cutting myself off from being attracted to unattainable straight girls, she says, "Oh don't do that, give us a chance." Mmhmmmm. And she looks at me funny. I don't think I'm being paranoid, although with me, that's ALWAYS a viable possibility.

Tonight, Miss Bonnie Claire doesn't have to go to work because of Passover. What's up with that shit? I'm more of a Jew than she is.

Four Years

2006-04-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

FOUR YEARS. Today marks the day that I have been in a mostly continuous (there was that whole one month break back in the early stages...but I don't count that) relationship with Bonnie for four years. That's my whole high school career. That's a whole presidential term. It's a long time. Shit.

I'm amazed at how much both of us have changed, and yet I think we've only grown more and more compatible.

We should be married.

Damn it.

We're going out to dinner. Lata.

A decade ago

2006-03-28T21:45:00.000-08:00

Ten years ago, it was early 1996. Take this survey, post, and see how many things have changed since then.

1) How old were you: 15
2) What grade were you in: 9th
3) Where did you go to school: Lincoln-Way HS
4) Where did you work: Plaza Cleaners
5) Where did you live: Mokena, Illinois
6) How was your hair style: I think I had shoulder-length hair and possibly bangs
7) Did you wear braces: that came a year later
8) Did you wear contacts: yes
9) Did you wear glasses: only when I was home
10) Who was your best friend: Valerie Kircher
11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend: Please, I was uncool and a closet lezbo.
12) Who was your celebrity crush: Sandra Bullock
13) Who was your regular-person crush: Laura
14) Were you a virgin: yes
15) How many piercings did you have: just the ears
16) How many tattoos did you have: 0
17) What was your favorite band/singer/rapper: I think that was my Beatles phase
16) Had you smoked a cigarette yet: no
19) Had you gotten drunk or high yet: no
20) Had you driven yet: no
21) If so which car: n/a
22) Which of your pets were still alive: Babs, bassett hound
23) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be in 1996: I thought I'd be straight for starters. So no. But I don't think I had a clear vision of my future self a decade ago.
24) If you could change one thing from the past 10 years what would it be: I would have started reading books much much earlier...and I would have watched the X-Files regularly. And I would have listened to Bob Dylan and David Bowie a lot more.

Happy Happy

2006-03-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

Oh, such a good night. And it has nothing to do with Mr. Saint Patrick driving the Pagans out of Ireland. It is a great night I guess mostly because Bonnie and I bonded with the boys at the coffeehouse, especially Josie (I think he looks like a Josie...but his name isn't really Josie...however, blogging etiquette requires that I make up a name for him). I can't really explain it, but those of you who know how Bonnie gets about her connections with people and how she just decides that she wants to be friends with someone and makes it happen, well, I think she's somehow making it happen. First of all, there seems to be a universal rule amongst all of the employees that this week, we are to be given every drink free. I'm not talking just your regular drip coffee for free either. I'm talking five glasses of wine, two regular coffees, tea...etc for $0. Even the guys that I've never really had a conversation with are hooking us up big time this week. And one of them gave me two cigarettes for free too. I love it!

And now Josie and Bonnie and I have a tentative agreement to teach him Durok and he'll teach us backgammon. We're going to have game nights! I can't wait.

I've been seriously lacking in the social life area since I've moved to NYC. Bonnie has some friends here that she's known forever, and they are fabulous people and I love most of them dearly, but there is still something that has been missing...and that is basically a friendship that I've been a part of from beginning to end here. Everyone here is someone that either Bonnie has a long history with that I was never a part of and I can't quite claim as my own, or they are half friends...like a step beyond acquiantance, but not quite my friends...or at least not close friends. I've been sort of lonely folks, in short.

So, tonight made me feel very happy. And it is late and now I must sleep.

Bonnie is da shit

2006-03-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend just made roasted turkey w/ gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, and the best roasted potatoes ever. I love my life.

The Dish

2006-03-02T14:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, I don't update enough these days! Oh, I was just about to update too, but Bonnie just came home and I'll have to leave in about fifteen minutes for work. Well, let's see if I can do this quickly:

I pretty much gave my two weeks notice at the bookshop, mainly because 12hrs/week just wasn't cutting it, especially considering the commute. But then, after talking with Amanda, she worked some managerial magic and now it looks like I'll be working mainly with Cyclone Books (a separate on-line bookselling business based out of the back office of the bookshop), and I'll be able to add some hours assisting Parson Weems (one of the bookshop owners is a rep. for the publisher Parson Weems, and I'll be helping one of the reps with some catalogs...also based out of the back office of the bookshop), and a few hours in the bookshop as well. So that will be either full-time or close to it...and that rocks.

Also, I'm still ushering at the Lion King and I'm actually really enjoying it...mainly because it requires very short bursts of work, and then the rest of the time is filled with breaks. And I like the people I work with. On Wednesdays, there are two shows...so during the two hours break between them, we play chess. There is a chess tournament with a $75 prize when this tournament i s over. My team is somewhere in the middle of the ranking, but I'm about to win a game (I think). We didn't have time to finish it this Wednesday, so we'll continue it next week. I also just officially finished my training as an usher, which means I'm eligible to be a 1 for some shows instead of a 2. This means I'll be able to leave about half an hour after the show starts, instead of having to stay until it is over.

Gotta run!

P.S.-- Just a reminder, don't make any sudden decisions until the end of the month...Mercury just went into retrograde....ooohhhh.

Valentine's Day

2006-02-15T08:17:00.000-08:00

So Bonnie made reservations for us at Brasserie Julian a few blocks from our house for dinner last night for Valentine's Day. We had a great time. I ordered Moroccan Chicken Bisteeya, "an exotic delicacy of chicken, vegetabes, raisins wrapped in phyllo dough and baked served with Mesclun". For some reason, I can't turn off the italics right now. Annoying. Sorry about that.

Bonnie ordered Duck a l'Orange, which I can't find on the menu at menupages.com, so I can't describe it as nicely as my dish. I know it was a very a tender duck breast and leg cooked in a subtle orange sauce. It was delicious and savory.

We each had a glass of red wine with our entrees and then after dinner, we ordered coffee and shared a creme brulee.

I was so happy when she called me at work to tell me she made dinner reservations, because I thought we weren't going to be able to celebrate Valentine's day at all. We didn't give one another presents for Christmas because we had to prioritize our money spending, so we agreed we'd celebrate Christmas closer to New Year's. Which didn't happen. So then we decided we'd celebrate V-day properly. As I was working out in Hastings and wouldn't be home until 8:30 and we've still been trying to go light on spending our money, I thought we'd just drink some wine and watch a movie. But no, wonderful Bonnie to the rescue.

I'm not so bad either though. I did buy her flowers. And...I...was really nice...and smiley.

So, I put in a long day at the bookshop yesterday, 9:00am-7:30pm, and now I'm off to spend a long day at the theater, 1:00pm-11:00pm. Which sucks cause I'm physically not quite ready to be on my feet for so long again. But...after today, I only have one short shift tomorrow and then have three days off...which will be spent hanging out with our good Chicago friend Steve who is visiting. Very exciting.

Interesting

2006-01-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

So Wrong

2006-01-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

Has anyone seen that army add that simply shows a target on random arab men? What the hell?

Maple Manhatten

2006-01-26T19:47:00.000-08:00

There's that maple syrup smell again! Third time this year!

Usher

2006-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

How sad it is to wake up at noon on a Saturday morning and log onto the computer to discover that not one of you people have updated your blogs since I've last checked...which was last night. Ok, now that I type that out, I can see that I'm a bit demanding and ridiculous...but still. Very upsetting.

So I guess that means I should update. I have a job on Broadway! Really, with the Lion King. Well, actually, I think I'm about to join the Usher's Union and I'll be an usher at the New Amsterdam Theater, which is where the Lion King is currently staying and where Mary Poppins is about to land. Yay!

It'll be slightly more than $40 a show, for four hours or less each show. I can sign up for as many or as few shows as I want, five shows per week is fine. I have to usher at least one show every three months...I can handle that. This should be some fun extra money.

I woke up missing people that I don't even like anymore. Strange.

Film

2006-01-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

So many good movies these days.

Just saw Capote. What can I say? It was incredible. Though-provoking. Hoffman once again transformed himself into another person, so much so that I forgot it was him acting. Go see it.

Also saw Brokeback Mountain. Again, it was incredible. And also thought-provoking. Both Jake and Heath did oscar-winning performances. I felt like I was in love with both of them, and herdering men ain't usually my kind. Go see that one too.

Memoirs of a Geisha. I liked it. I understand why some people did not like it so much, namely that it left out so much that was in the book. But since I haven't read the book, I can't say I was bothered by it. I liked the way the story was told. I thought it was visually beautiful, and I found it quite interesting to see the distinction between a prostitute and a geisha.

Harry Potter. Yeah.

Good Night and Good Luck. Thought that was the shit too...and so timely.

Rent...liked it. I never saw an actual performance of Rent, but I am very familiar with it from the cd's and from talking about it with Bonnie and my family. It was nice for me to finally have some visuals. I'm in love with Angel.

Fun with Dick and Jane. We saw it for free...so that was worth it. I wouldn't actually tell a friend to go see it in a theater, it isn't worth the price. But it is funny and engaging. Light-hearted.

The Family Stone...liked it.

Jarhead...liked it overall, but it wasn't as good as the previews made it look. It's a typical war movie.

Now we need to see Cache, History of Violence, the Squid and the Whale, Transamerica, Match Point, Munich, Syrana, Breakfast on Pluto, King Kong.

Thanksgiving in January

2006-01-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, nothing like turkey, broccoli and cheese, mashed red potatoes and red wine at midnight on a Thursday night while watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yeah.

We're weird.

Ted Allen, the food and wine dude for Queer Eye, is the boyfriend of the former director of my department at Columbia College when I went there, Mr. Barry Rice. I once knocked on his office door and blurted out, "Can I harass you for a second?" before realizing how completely inappropriate that was and apologized. Luckily, he seemed amused and all was good.

To my little buddy, 2006!

2005-12-31T14:55:00.000-08:00

Quietly greeting the New Year at Cafe Gigi with cheap comfy couches, pizza, and a bottle of wine. Just the way I like it.

Raise a glass to 2006, cheers.

I know that it's rough being a 2006. You're whole family, the 10's as we like to call them, have been pretty sucky so far. A lot of people have already ruled you out as just another one of those pathetic 10 kids. But I still have some faith in you little 2006. Now, it still means that you are a Bush year. But little 2006, let's not focus on that. For starters, you are starting off with a whole new second that none of your siblings ever had! And I'd say you're lucky to be following your older sister 2005, because she was quite a handful, and now, people aren't expecting as much out of you. Basically, all you have to do is not suck. You don't have to legalize pot, end global warming, or discover a cure for AIDS or anything...although that would be great. All you have to do is be better than 2005, and we all know that isn't a lot to ask.

I'll even give you three small suggestions to help you be a year worth remembering. First off, I think everyone in town would be impressed if you did something about that George Bush character. Egg his house. Smash his mailbox or something. Bring some honor to your family. Second, keep your watery arms and legs inside of the ocean's and gulf's at all times...especially down near Louisiana and Mississippi...you've caused enough splashing down there. And third, put an end to MTV's the Real World. They aren't fun anymore and the new ones are giving a bad name to good ol' days of Pedro, Puck, and Judd. There. Those are only three wonderful things you can do to be awesome.

So good luck 2006, may you not suck.

Christmas part 1

2005-12-29T14:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't felt like updating lately; I'm sorry people.

I hate it when I go too long without updating my blog because then when I do get around to it, I don't have any idea where I want to begin.

Christmas? Well, I think Bonnie sort of summed up our Christmas, but since I have a faulty memory...I'll tell my version of it and if I repeat what has already been said, I apoligize.

Actually, let me begin on the night before Christmas, because that's where the fun started. Bonnie's brother, Jonathan, spent the night over at our apartment on the 23rd. He made up his mind to come over here so that we could all leave together on the 24th...we weren't sure if the transit strike would be over and it would be a pain in the ass to try to meet up and catch a metro train together with the strike still going on. So with a roommate's air mattress under arm, he came over and we had a fabulous night with him and our roommate Kevin.

I'm trying to remember what our initial plan for that night was...I think we were going to watch a gay episode of Next on MTV, followed by two other movies or something...I really can't recall. Our plans were somewhat altered after two things occurred. The first was that I was about to treck out into the wilderness to retrieve some Bailey's Irish Cream or some other alcohol for the kids when Kevin ducked into his room to grab his Christmas presents for Bonnie and I. Two lovely bottles of wine. The second occurrance that altered our plans was also due to Kevin's generousity, which left us feeling happy, stoned, and hungry. So we did at least watch Next, although what should have taken about twenty minutes to watch took about an hour since we felt the need to pause and discuss various issues in depth every five to ten minutes. We then watched the Christmas South Park, and all I can remember is something about the anti-christ.

And I'm going to have to finish my story later; I'm starving.

Transit Strike

2005-12-20T06:01:00.000-08:00

Ha, the irony! After all of the combined bitching from us about the Chicago Public Transit system, we move to New York and the MTA employees go on strike! Total transit shutdown. A tragic tale of a high expectation and the grim results that can't live up to it.

I am hoping that I just don't have to go into work today. I guess I'd walk the 30 blocks to the 125/Harlem Metro station and try to catch a train going up the Hudson Line if I have to get up there, but I'm optimistic that one of our friendly employees who happens to live in Hastings-on-Hudson will be able to switch shifts with me. With luck, this thing will be resolved by tomorrow or Thursday...if not, at least the Metro trains will enact their contingency plan and will have extra trains running...unlike today. I have to admit, I'm a bit baffled by the Metro-North's lack of preparation. We all knew that a strike was looming over Gotham, why not already have the contingency plan ready to go?

Bonnie is currently standing on 2nd Ave. trying to catch a cab to work. The cabs are doing this brilliant plan where they take up to four passengers who each pay an initial $10 fare, and then an extra $5 every time the cab crosses a new zone. And they are only going n, s, e, and w...no turns or anything. So...they are kind of like really expensive mini-buses.

Yay! My first city-wide crises as a New Yorker! I feel like it's an indoctrination (of course everything revolves around me).

cats and books and other warm things

2005-11-28T19:13:00.000-08:00

I was just going to write about how cute Franco is being as he purrs on my lap, squinting his eyes, being fabulous. The cats (Franco and Elliott in particular) have been hellish the past few weeks, scratching furniture, knocking over bottles, jumping on things and breaking them, pulling out the trash, destroying all of our bread products, etc.) And here I thought Franco was reverting back to his old somewhat sweet ways when Bonnie informs me that she gave all of them catnip because they were being so crazy. So nice cute Franco is actually totally stoned Franco.

Oh well, I'll try to enjoy this small reprieve.

I've been working at a small independent bookstore that is in a tiny little village north of the city off of the Hudson River. The store is Good Yarns Bookstore and the town is Hastings-on-Hudson. I am very happy there, except that it is only part-time and doesn't pay extremely well. I'm also only temporary for now; we'll see what happens after the holidays. I really enjoy it though. The people I work with are fantastic, the customers are friendly, and I find it very inspiring to spend my days around books and the people who love them.

I hope to be hired for the long haul and I'll look for another part-time. I'd much rather work two part-time jobs with at least one that I really enjoy, rather than one full-time job that I don't like. Or, if I even happen to get another part-time that I also enjoy, I think it will be nice to divide my time between the two jobs. That way, I'll avoid burn-out and boredom.

I think my boss is worried about my commute up there, thinking that it isn't worth it for me. But it REALLY doesn't bother me. I actually find it rather relaxing...at least once I get on the metro train. I get to look out the window at the Hudson River and all of these adorable cute little towns with lots of trees, hills, old homes, and bridges. It is so beautiful north of the city. When I lived in Chicago, it often took me well over an hour to get to work or school. It actually takes me less time to get to this bookstore job, and it is such a pleasant ride. I like having time to drink coffee, read before I go to work, and just have some time to wake up properly. I don't know, it just really fits me right now and I don't want it to end.

But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I have to. I must remain open and keep trying to trust the universe to take care of me. I'll be where I'm supposed to be.

Now I hope that tomorrow brings Bonnie some great news about a potential job. She's been working so hard and it hurts to see her so unhappy.

xoxo

The Moment of Despair

2005-11-15T23:16:00.000-08:00

I am so sick and tired of not having a job. No it is not fun to be unemployed with rent, bills, food, cats, and other things that need to be paid for. And of course my ink cartridge runs out, so it is a pain in the ass to get resumes printed (thank you Jonathan for hooking us up via your printer, now we just need to make it to your place to pick them up).

We've been here about a month and a half. And neither of us have found a decent job yet. And it isn't for lack of effort. Bonnie has gone on several interviews...like, what is it now, 9? She's heard back from two, rejections, and the rest are either not going to respond or are taking way too long.

I've done no better (and far fewer interviews).

Everyone keeps telling me that it really hasn't been that long, and not to worry because something will come through. It is already too long.

Why do these moments have to extend past the point of despair before something works out? I hate that shit.

I'm sorry, sort of. But I'm very frustrated and I'm hating the world today.

I'm also a little upset that it seems like I won't be able to get a job that I couldn't have gotten in high school Six years, a bachelor's degree and two inernships later and it seems like nothing is enough to get me a better job.

Now, of course, I feel slightly better now that I ranted and whined. Mostly, I just feel better that I am publicly screaming my frustration...in hopes that this somehow certifies as that shout out to the universe that things have gone too far and I'm ready to kiss the universe's ass for the rest of my life if it just hooks me up this one time. Mercy, uncle, I surrender. Now there best be some good news in the morning.

Labor

2005-11-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Bonnie and I are sore from working on the house below over the weekend. We are being paid to paint the interior first floor. Bonnie's dad has been working on this house for months, trying to get it ready for their friends who just bought it and wanted to knock out walls and do all sorts of carpentry work.It was a rather unexpected offer and a surprise. I had no idea that I'd be out in Rhode Island over the weekend, painting someone's house, and getting paid for it. Nice. I actually had a great time. We took the train out to her parents' house on Saturday, slept over there (well, I didn't sleep a wink...but I tried) and then on Sunday we drove out to this house and spent several hours working. We painted all of the ceilings a warm off white called "sail cloth", and a small room divider a pinkish "string of pearls". Next weekend, we're going back to paint the walls some exciting colors. This house is located in this cozy niche of homes on a road behind an old mill. The houses are all really old and were probably the homes of the people who worked in the mill. It is so cute.
This is part of the first floor at night, after we painted the ceilings and the divider. As you can see on the table to the left if you look closely, we made a mid-day stop at a Dunken Donuts drive-through for some iced coffee with sugar and cream. Delicious. I love wearing jeans, a t-shirt, a bandana and being so dyke-o-liciously covered in paint. Excellent.

No word yet from the menupages.com people. I'm getting nervous.

Possible Awesome Job

2005-11-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'm terribly excited. I talked to the man from menupages.com and I think I have the job. It sounds awesome. Basically, my job for the next few months will be to acquire a full list of Chicago restaurants and their menus, check for accuracy and make sure they are updated, and load the information onto the web site in order to get it ready for the Chicago launch. Then, once it is up and running, my main job will be to update and manage the database and work on some editorial content that we will discuss later on. The office only has about 8 or 9 people; they just rented their first office three weeks ago and are still in the process of moving in furniture. So I'll be involved in the startup of this business, pretty cool. Also, it is full-time with medical, dental and vision benefits. Oh I hope I get this and I hope it works out as well as it sounds.

Halloween

2005-11-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great Halloween, the best in years. The most exciting part of the day was the Village Halloween parade. It is a parade done every year (for the last 30-something years) in the Village where artists make gorgeous puppets (mostly skeletons and snakes) and hoist them on large sticks. Then the puppets are followed by at least an hour's worth of random people in halloween costumes, some with drums, some with bands, some with a color guard, some by themselves, some with children. It was fantastic. I think my favorite costume was a "garb-o-tron", a man who appeared to be dressed in full body plastic armor stood in front of us, announced that he is "garb-o-tron" and then proceeded to squat down and transform himself into a garbage can. It was impressive. There were two Napolean Dynamites. I still can't decide which one I liked better. The first one was an older man who just physically didn't really look like Napolean, but he did attach a pole and tether ball to his back and swat at it a lot, so that was great. But the other Napolean Dynamite was a younger slender lad who looked more like the actual character. I think I like the tetherball guy better.

Unfortunately, the batteries in our camera are not lasting long these days, so the only picture we have is of a huge pumpkin ball flying over our heads, a little prelude to the parade involved several teenagers guiding the pumpkin (the size of a small vehicle) down the street, bouncing it over the heads of the crowd...it was very rave-style and actually somewhat frightening.

Bonnie and I had a great spot too...we actually got to sit along the curb underneath a police barricade. The only problem was a boy next to us with an intense sugar high, a plastic sword, and a lack of discipline.

In other news, I also received an e-mail from menupages.com for a little phone chat, a job I applied for over two weeks ago. They were looking for someone familiar with the Chicago restaraunt scene who can coordinate the acquisition of menus for their new Chicago web site (based in Manhattan of course). I've lived all over Chicago; I've participated in an intensive food and travel writing course; I've read a lot; and I have a journalism background. I hope I get the job, because I figure it will be a casual office and it might be a way into a food writing career. At least it is journalism related, which beats Starbucks, and I'd have health, dental and vision benefits. Wish me luck.

What else? Oh, I also went out and bought some m&ms and other candy in order to celebrate halloween while Bonnie and I watched some Buffy season 6. The M&M's had a really bizarre slimy waxy texture, and there were these strange waxy white crumbs all over them. We were weirded out. I still ate a few and I seem ok, but I think the rest of the bag is going in the garbage. Hmm.

Trent dear...please stop talking. For your own sake honey keep that mouth sealed.

2005-10-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

So, I quit my job and had a great day. Really!

For the sake of brevity, I'll sum it up by saying that I quit the pediatric job for the following reasons: A) Only 16/hrs a week B) A lot of work without reasonable pay C) unjustified rudeness from the girl who was supposed to be training me (she's also from Chicago...hmmm.)

It wasn't worth it and I figured that it would be better to quit now rather than four months from now after they've spent all this time training me. I also don't want to be miserable for that long. I knew things weren't going to be peachy when a bird shit on my shoulder as I walked there on my first day of work. Oh, and now that I don't work there, I can set discretion aside and say that I met Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick.

I called my parents before I quit to see if they could loan me a bit of $ for the next two or three weeks, and bless them, they were both generous and understanding.

So I went to a Starbucks job fair. Believe it or not, I don't think I'll terribly mind working for a Starbucks for a while. I sort of want to do something on my feet. I worked at one a few years ago, so the training won't take too long. Flexibile hours. Health benefits. A pound of free coffee or tea a week. I can dig it.

The job fair went well. They ended up having to shut down their little operation because I guess they didn't get permission to do that in the plaza where it was happening. So they interviewed maybe six people...including me. Lol. The girl who interviewed me seemed to like me and she said her store is hiring (it's supposedly one of the busiest in NY). We'll see.

So Bonnie, who has been amazing and supportive and wonderful, hung out with me in our room watching stupid television and reading magazines. Then we ate dinner at the Barking Dog cafe, saw "Elizabethtown" at the movie theater (cheesy fun and I highly recommend it) and drank coffee and ate a little bit more at a tiny diner. Then we walked home, stopping at a deli to buy naval oranges, apples for apple crisp, and strawberries to blend with yogurt.

A very lovely day I do feel.

A good life

2005-10-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

I've had a pretty great weekend, even though it didn't go as planned. On Friday night, my plans included hanging out with Bonnie's two brothers around dinner on Saturday and Sunday plans included going out to lunch with her aunt and then going over to Kate's house in the evening. Pretty much all of those plans fell through, well, her brothers ended up coming over, but not until a little past 1 am. It was nice though. We mainly drank wine and watched "Angels in America" since it was on the Logo channel all night.

And then Bonnie and I slept in until around 1pm, made tiny blueberry muffins and coffee, and read the New York Times Sunday edition until about 6p.m. We then went to eat dinner at Barking Dog cafe, went for a short walk to buy some groceries, and stopped and got ice cream cones on the way back home. Excellent!

Now the White Sox are playing game 2 of the World Series, looking good so far, and we're flipping between that and Desperate Housewives. I don't have to be at work until 2 tomorow, so that rocks, and Bonnie has a job interview tomorrow. Not a bad weekend at all.

I had a few hours of personal panic on Friday, somehow envisioning the rest of my life as a medical office receptionist. I tend to do that, like I'll be stuck in a job I don't really like forever, as though I can't change things. Bonnie talked reason back into me though and made me realize that this is definitely a temporary job and that better things await me. Not that this job is god awful. It is actually quite nice, once I get past the whole training/newbie phase of it. It is in walking distance to my house, evening hours, only four days a week. And we have celebrity patients...yay! But I am not allowed to discuss that.

I wanna dance with somebody, somebody who loves me

2005-10-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

So lets see. Today has been the best day ever. Really.

First of all, I received a call for a job interview, which is set for tomorrow. Last week, I sent out 21 resumes in one night and received no responses. Today, I sent out two resumes, one to a pediatric office and one to a random internship at an art gallery in the Village. I received calls from both. Maybe the lesson here is that people take note when you e-mail them resumes at 2:00a.m. They must notice and think its weird. I think the best time to send out resumes is before noon the day that they are posted.

Then, Bonnie and I went to an Antony and the Johnsons concert at Carnegie Hall. Somehow, Bonnie managed to land us second row seats. Awesome. What then followed can only be described in the bluntest of language.
-Bette Midler sat behind us, four seats to the left.
-David Bowie and Lou Reed walked past us, and then proceeded to converse with Bette. We could hear the whole conversation.
-Rufus Wainwright also walked past the front row.

I've been in New York for 10 days and I've already seen Bette Midler, Lou Reed, Rufus Wainwright, and most astonishing of all, fucking David Bowie. Unreal.

The concert was great. I am tired and I want to start winding down, but I do have to end by saying that it was one of the most beautiful concerts I've been to...and it was a lot of fun too. The whole audience sang, "I really love my neighbor, I'm really feeling the heat from my neighbor".

Also, in strange synchronicity, Bonnie has an interview for a job at Carnegie Hall on Monday.

Oh, and Bonnie baked chocolate chip cookies and they were really yummy! Good night!

Rainy October Thursday's are Fabulous

2005-10-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's a gloomy day, but it has been pretty good to me.

I have my first job interview tomorrow. It is at 2:30 at a pediatric office. It is a part-time position, evenings, really close to my house. Rock on. I also have an interview for an internship that I applied to on a whim. Rather strange. It was posted on Craigslist in the arts section. I had no business looking at the arts section, let alone applying for anything. But I did because I felt like it. It said "internship available at unusual West Village Art Gallery". That can't be bad right? I talked to the man on the phone and he said it was unpaid, part-time. I don't think I'll be able to commit to it, but I figure I'll go into an interview anyway. I don't have anything to lose.

And...

Antony and the Johnson's at Carnegie Hall in three hours!

Umm. Yay!

2005-10-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking of what to say first in this journal entry, and of course, the first thing to come to mind is as lame as this: "It's my third day in New York!"

I would like to say that I've already grown a lot, that somehow I've already started to soak up the energy of this city and that the inspiration would surface in my writing. Oh well.

Let's see. I slept in until the sun rudely woke me up around 10a.m. Bastard. And in our east-facing bedroom window, the sun is brutally bright. I will probably enjoy it a lot once I'm on a working girl's schedule, but right now, when I'm spending my nights drinking coffee, sending out resumes, and playing Kingdom of Loathing; the sun is as jarring as hearing an alarm clock in a commercial. Wait, actually, it's as jarring as hearing an alarm clock when you're sleeping. Followed closely by hearing an alarm clock in a commercial...or a movie. Where was I?

So Bonnie and I sluggishly moped around this morning (early afternoon) before we went to a nearby coffee shop called DTUT. It was so cute, especially for the upper east side. It had a ton of cushioned velvet chairs and sofas of varying sizes, shapes, and design. And excellent coffee. The only place in Chicago that I enjoyed an iced vanilla latte was from Intelligensia. I don't know exactly why it was so good, but I do know that the type of vanilla syrup used makes a large difference...and I like brownish foam on the top. Starbucks doesn't do it right. The Grind was too strong I think. I didn't like the syrup from the Perfect Cup all that much. But now, only a few blocks away is a delicious iced vanilla latte with yummy brownish foam available from dawn to midnight. I love it here.

In about half an hour, I drank the large iced latte and read a few chapters in Dan Brown's Angels and Demons before we met our roommate Kevin at the Lowe's Orpheum to watch Joss Whedon's Serenity on the big screen. I really liked it, even though I've never seen an episode of Firefly. Kevin, who also had never seen an episode of Firefly, had already seen Serenity on the big screen, but he said he understood it and enjoyed it anyway. On the other hand, Bonnie's brother, Jonathan, who has watched Firefly and seen Serenity thought that we should watch the television series first and then the movie. We didn't wait, and I'm sort of glad because now I think I'm more interested in watching the television series. I'm not sure I would have been very interested otherwise (although, anything directed by Joss Whedon is pretty damn good). There are a few things in the movie that I think I would understand better if I was already familiar with Firefly, like the relationship between Simon and River and how that actually developed. So that was fun.

Then I came home and kicked ass at sending out resumes. I sent a few to medical offices and a few for administrative assistant positions listed on Craigslist and Mediabistro.com. I also sent out a resume to an alternative porn company specializing in, well, alternative and queer stuff. The job description included two important qualities: no republicans and someone with a passion for stuffing porn videos into envelopes. So me.

Oh, actually, before I came home and kicked ass at sending out resumes, Bonnie and I ate lunch at Tamarind, an Indian restaurant located across the street from our building. The food was excellent, rice included for free, the bill was what...$21 I think, the service was friendly, the decor is beautiful, and they deliver. We also saw someone identical to Ozzy Osbourne walk by, the only differance being that this person did not have sleeves tattooed on his forearms and his DNA doesn't match...I'm assuming; I haven't actually checked.

Also, Bonnie and I are really beginning to appreciate this highrise, as anti-highrise as we like to be. Got garbage? No problem! Just walk two feet down the hall and throw it in the compactor. Got a heavy load of laundry? No problem! Just walk five feet to the elevator and it will take you almost all the way to the laundry room. Need toilet paper? No problem! Duane Reede is right across the street. Need indian food? Need a cleaners? Need natural groceries? Need a cab? Need a ride on the subway? Need a walk in a park? Need some coffee? Need to go see a movie? It's like the whole universe has been condensed into a five block radius. It just...I almost don't feel worthy. Almost.

Second Day in NYC

2005-10-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

It is my second day in New York City and I have to say, I think I'm adjusting to it fairly quickly. Bonnie and I chilled out at an Italian cafe, Tarallucci & Vino, to organize our plans for the next day or two. We went shopping at a farmer's market in the East Village where we bought several ears of sweet corn, some cucumbers, three tomatoes, an eggplant, two huge pieces of broccoli, two large sweet onions and a couple of pounds of green beans for just under $17. We also bought a large wedge of brie, some sliced swiss cheese, and a ball of mozzarella for $7 at East Village Cheese. $24 for all of that fresh food! Can you believe it!?

We also stopped at the Washington Mutual on 2nd Ave. and St. Mark's to change our address and we stopped at a newsstand to buy me a New York map so that I can start orienting myself to this space. Now what is truly miraculous is that in the span of only three hours, we relaxed at the Italian cafe, stopped at the bank and the newsstand, and shopped at the Farmer's Market and the East Village Cheese shop. Three hours. We beat rush hour on the way home. Somehow, I found myself having a lot more free time than I expected. I love it.

Time for Me to Wake up Bonnie

2005-10-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

So I am finally writing this from my new home in New York City. It feels pretty damn good. We left our Chicago apartment on Friday evening a little after 8p.m., much later than we were hoping to leave. We drove for several hours until we made into Ohio, where we decided it would be wise to stop at a Motel 6 and sleep for a few hours. Bonnie's maternal instinct was really kicking in and she was worried about the kittens because they weren't eating food or driking water. I have to admit, the kittens handled the move both worse and better than I expected. Better in the sense that they really didn't meow all the much. Worse in the sense the Elliott sill has a glazed look on his face and the boys are still more jumpy than usual. Jersey is totally fine, except for a raw nose where she made herself bleed by pushing her snout through the holes in her traveling carrier.

We tried to take the cats out on leashes at a stop in Indiana, but it was a disaster. Franco jumped around trying to get back inside of his carrier spilling my coffee in the process, which was unfortunate because I was beginning to get sleepy and I wasn't about to go back inside that creepy place with a McDonald's for more coffee. Jersey shook her way out of her harness, so I had to run after her. And Elliott just spazzed around trying to go anywhere but near the minivan. It was a disaster and none of them ate food, drank water, or used the litter box. Argh.

So we ended up stopping to sleep, which meant that we missed the cut off time to drop our stuff off at our apartment the next day. For some reason, the management company doesn't want people unloading their stuff after 4:30p.m. So we spent two nights at Bonnie's parent's house in Hope Valley, Rhode Island. It was sort of a nice time to relax, but I was also anxious to get my life together. So much to do! So much to worry aobut! Franco and Elliott barely came out from under the couch the whole time we were at her parents, but I don't think I've ever seen Jersey so happy. She loved the space, the new textures, the new people. I still feel sort of bad for taking her away from there.

Bonnie's brother Daniel was home from college for the weekend. He brought along his lesbian posse, four lesbians. Go Dan. I found it very humorous that there were six lesbians in that house (staying over night mind you), only because I can't imagine what their mom was thinking.

Anyway, her dad drove us up here yesterday evening. Our bed was already installed, complete with a pillow top mattress that her uncle and dad bought for us. We added our feather mattress, new extremely soft jersey sheets, and comforter and now the bed is up to my belly button. It's so high! I love it. It's more comfortable than the bed at the B&B in Stillwater, MN. Which was conveniant, because I ended up getting a severe headache last night that five ibuprofins barely calmed. Sleep was the only remedy.

So now I am sitting here typing at the computer in our bedroom. Bonnie woke up for a second, but seems to have drifted back to sleep. It is noon. We have a lot of planning to do, mostly about money and job stuff. Franco is on the windowsill watching me type. Elliott is curled up on a stack of boxes...it's very high; if he jumped two feet he'd hit the ceiling. Jersey is somewhere outside of our room.

As I expected, I already miss my friends. Bonnie has quite a few here, many of them I have met and I do think they are wonderful people. But I have no history with them. I don't really know what to call them quite yet.

So, I better get to work unpacking, job searching, coffee drinking, TimeOut New York reading, showering, learning my way around this city, making new friends. So much to do!

I had to look up how to spell Hawaiian for this post. Doesn't it just look funny?

2005-09-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

We are SO CLOSE to moving. I can taste the New York pizza in my sleep I'm THAT close.

But alas, I still look out my window and see the Sears Tower. Well, I'm lying. I look out the window and I see a brick wall, but you get the idea. I don't think I've felt this stuck since my senior year of high school.

Last night, I drove to Evanston to see my old high school friend, Eric, and his boyfriend Patrick before I move. It was fun to see them. We went to Chili's where I enjoyed a fajita pita (fun to say) and two margaritas. We then went back to their condo, which was nice and all. Very clean. Lots of stainless steel. Black leather couch and chair. An espresso machine that they haven't used in about five years and yet still refuse to let me have because Eric likes it for decorative purposes. Two jack russell terrors. I spelled that wrong on purpose.

We watched the so-called news (Patrick likes Fox sensationalism) and then Eric brought out two albums of photos from high school and the year right after graduation. We were so young looking! I can't believe the clothes I wore! How did my friends and family let me leave the house wearing a baggy powder blue hawaiian shirt with baggy cargo pants!? It makes me not trust anyone, really.

Then one of the dogs starting producing awful dog farts, so we decided that it was time for them to walk the dogs and say our goodbyes.

Shortly, I will be driving to UHS for the last day of working in the member services department. This is the day I'll be saying goodbye to most of the people, as very few of them work on the weekends when I'm in the switchboard. I should be sad. But as snobby as it might sound, I'm more sad FOR them. I'll miss Tamara and Deana a bit. Tamara is just a really good person with a great sense of humor and my favorite person to work with, and Deana is probably the best boss I'll ever have. She jokes around with me, makes fun of me, and lets me rant about my parents (in particular, my dad who is the executive director). But since I'm leaving for something that I think will make me so much happier, I can't really get all that worked up about it.

Maybe I should bring my camera today. Yes. Yes I should.

Scaredy Cats

2005-09-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

So this is the second consecutive day of blogger posting. I rock! I love myself! Woohoo!

I have a bit more time to update as well, because I do not have to leave for work and I do not have to go pick Bonnie up from work for another five hours.

Her dad is currently driving through the really long state of Pennsylvania on his way to Chicago with the Cottle family minivan. He's going to bring a bunch of our boxes and trinkets back to their home in Rhode Island and store our goods there until Bonnie and I can move at the end of the month. I'm very grateful that he's doing this; it saves us a lot of moving costs and a lot of stress.

Bonnie, ever concerned about the emotional well-being of our three kittens on their big move across country, bought three kitten harnesses and three leashes so that we'll be able to let them out of their cages and roam around the car to eat and use the litter box when we make stops . She was worried that they'd get out of the car unless we tied them or kept them in the cages. I came home from work yesterday and all three kittens had cute little harnesses around their upper torsos. They almost seemed proud to be wearing them (although what I initially interpreted as pride turned out to be highness; Bonnie had given them catnip as a reward for not freaking out about wearing harnesses).

As our friend Matt is out in San Francisco for a couple of weeks, we are frequently going over to his apartment to water his plants. What a great opportunity to walk the cats we thought! I got nervous though, so I asked Bonnie if it would be fine to just walk two of them...thinking they'd be a lot to handle if they freak out. She agreed. So we put two leashes on Franco and Elliott, took once step outside of our apartment door, and then Bonnie says, "Oh shit. I just locked our keys in the apartment." So I give her both leashes and volunteer to run around to the back entrance of the apartment. When I hit the bottom of the stairwell, I hear what sounds like a young child screaming from the top of the stairwell. I ask Bonnie what was that and she says, "I think it was Elliott, but his mouth didn't move!"

Oh well, I must get inside, so I run around to the back door of the apartment, which is locked, and shove my fist through the plexiglass window pane (a security weakness originally discovered and breached by Matt), and ran through the apartment grabbing the keys to rejoin Bonnie.

"It was Franco," she says. I look down at him to witness him crouching down as though he is trying to hide himself in the hardwood flooring, looking absoluetly terrified. Oh dear. We pick them up, walk downstairs, and set them down on the stoop of the apartment building to slowly let them take in the sights, sounds, and smells of the world outside of the apartment that they know so well.

Again comes that ear-splitting humanesque scream from Franco. Repeatedly. The boyfriend of our neighbor on the second floor opens their window and sticks his head out, concerned that a kitten is dying somewhere outside. We sit outside for about fifteen minutes, concluding that maybe it will be too much to take them all the way to Matt's apartment quite yet. Franco jumped at the front door trying to get back inside. I picked him up and brought him to the grass, but he just tried to run to the door and kept running in the frantic path of a paranthesis, not quite grasping that he is attached to a leash. His inability to move in the direction he desired only freaked him out more. Elliott was slightly freaked, but he basically just sat down and watched Franco spaz out.

Maybe it was a bad idea to try to take them out in the world right after they ate catnip. We'll have to try again.

You still rock Jordis!

2005-09-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't written anything on here in way too long. Now that I know there is at least one loyal reader (Hi Kate!), I feel like writing a little bit more.

So. Geez. So much is going on right now. Unfortunately, I have this awful tendency to write more when I have absolutely nothing to say, and write less when I have so much going on that I don't know where to begin.

I guess I'll begin with this morning and work backwords. Bonnie and I slept in way too late. We rolled out of bed about fifteen minutes after we were supposed to have left the house. I tried to convince her that she should call in to work and tell them she'll be in by noon, that way we'd be able to sleep in and I could just drop her off on my way to work. But no. She felt obligated to go in relatively on time (only an hour late...not so bad). So at 8:45 I rolled out of bed, got ready in about fifteen minutes, and we got in the car to drive our unmerry drive to her work.

I should mention that we stopped at the Perfect Cup, one of two local coffee shops that we like. While Bonnie ordered her skim mocha with whip cream, I browsed the headlines of the Onion and I have to say that it is pretty funny this week. It's been steadily lame for a few weeks in a row, but this one is funny/sad because it is so true. Anyway, back to my story. I ordered an iced medium coffee with room at the top and a donut with chocolate frosting. It was yummy.

On the drive to her work, we discussed many a thrilling topic, including but not limited to the true definition of a hero (a word carelessly thrown around all too often to describe anyone doing anything that happens to have positive repercussions) and the true definition of bravery (a word carelessly thrown around to describe anyone doing anything that happens to have positive repercussions, even if the individual is not remotely afraid or challenged by the task at hand). We discussed Bonnie's experience of Sept. 11 and what her first thoughts were when she found out the WTC had been hit by a plane (she was upset that none of her roommates woke her up). I got teary-eyed thinking about the passengers on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania because they knew that they were going to die, but they took it upon themselves to crash the plane instead of letting it barrel into a target with innocent people inside (bravery).

I dropped her off at work, always a slightly sad moment in my day and proceeded to drive home. Interestingly, NPR had a Chicago-area man on talking about his experience of Sept. 11 when he was in the South Tower there for a business meeting. He talked about his definition of a hero. Syncrosity (I don't know how to spell this and I'm too lazy to look it up. Feel free to leave me a comment and I'll fix it later.) I got teary-eyed again. I think I'm hormonal today.

So now I need to leave here in a few minutes to go fulfill my Union Health Service obligations. Yawn.

Wait, I just realized that I didn't really start with today and work backwords. I mean, I did start with today, but I still worked forwards. I wanted to gently move my story along so that I can talk about yesterday, but somehow, I've managed to end up at the present moment, and now jumping back to yesterday evening seems out of nowhere. Misplaced. Abrupt. Wrong.

I'm so sorry.

Yesterday, I went out to dinner with two of my friends from high school who I thought I wasn't friends with anymore. Ryan and Trisha. No one has called me in about eight months. I had a falling out with another one of our friends and I thought maybe she had something to do with it. Trisha had gotten married this summer. To get to the point, Ryan just doesn't keep in touch with people and Trisha lost all of my contact information. It wasn't until my brother Matt stopped into the Walgreens pharmacy where Trisha works that she was able to ask him for my phone number (which he didn't have, but he gave her my sister's number, who ended up giving my number to Trisha). So apparently there is no built up angst.

I enjoyed hanging out with Trisha, because she seems genuinly interested in my life and her future (she wants to be a pharmacist, she just got married and is living in a townhouse in Joliet near her family). She asked about my trip to Europe, my move to New York, what I'm doing in general, even my cats. Ryan just kind of gazed absently around the Daily Bar and Grill, checked his voice mail, talked to Trisha about Deadwood on HBO. Sometimes, getting him to talk is like pulling teeth (which is such a bizarre metaphor that I find rather enjoyable to use). I asked him what his plans are, you know, like, what's he doing with his life...and he just said he's sort of looking for a new job as always (he currently trains security employees at O'Hare airport...he works for the Department of Homeland Security) and he has plans to buy a condo sometime in the future. Um, ok. He majored in chemistry and photography, so I'm not really sure what the plans are for that, but I guess it doesn't matter. I don't really know him anymore and I think he is really pretty happy with his life right now, but we have almost nothing in common. The least I need from people that I'm going to be close to is that they show an interest in me and what I'm doing OR they are just really interesting conversationalists and people. If they really don't care about what they are doing or what I am doing, then I think I'm done with that. It's just get so...bored.

Anyway, I have to leave now. Take care.

Hold That Thought

2005-08-20T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have the worries that one might expect when picking up and moving, not only to a new region, but to New York City of all places. I've visited it enough to know that there is plenty about its reputation that is unfounded, wrong, exagerrated and I don't subscribe to the lip service about its corruptive influence. I think that's merely a subjective viewpoint. I happen to appreciate dykes, fags, queens, lezbyans on my street corners. And besides, if anyone wants to preach about corruptive influences...lets start where it all began...brownies. The girl scout thing, not the treat. I mean really.

I hate to leave you all hanging, but it's time for me to leave work.

Lovely Cheese Pizza

2005-08-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

I feel excellent right now. It is partially due to the wonderful time I spent today with Bonnie at Metropolis, a recently opened coffeehouse in Edgewater. I love it there. It's too bad that it didn't exist when Bonnie lived right down the street from it, but oh well. It'll be a nice place to escape to for our last month and a half here. It has a few comfy couches, high ceilings, a lot of space, lots of tables that are close but not too close, and the general atmosphere is one of chill friendliness. My medium iced coffee was tasty as well. Another partial reason that I feel excellent is probably due to the fact that I took Dayquil a few hours ago. My sinuses are unusually clear; nose breathing is effortless and enjoyable. What's not to be happy about?

And then, probably the primary factor in me feeling excellent right now is that I just spent two...maybe three....hours napping/meditating by myself. I feel very grounded. Very awake, but not anxious or hyper. Just solid.

A homemade pizza is cooling on the stove.

I talked on the phone to my only remaining friend from high school, Eric, for about three hours. It made my day. I'm really happy for him. He spent a semester in Japan, is finishing up his bachelor's degree next semester, and is planning on going to graduate school right after that. Eric and his boyfriend are also planning a trip to Europe that is frighteningly similar to the one Bonnie and I took this past spring. They are going to fly into Dublin, then go to London, and then go to Paris. Cool. After fighting with my former roommate/close friend, the rest of my friendships from that era quietly dissolved without much being resolved. So I wasn't sure if we were still friends or not.

That's about all the updating I'm going to do for now. It's time for dinner.

Newest Favorite Quote from a Book

2005-07-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobobdy knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen-I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."--Sam from American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Coffee Colored Morning

2005-07-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

Man. It's amazing how two sleepless nights, a stuffed up nose, and a bad hair day can make me feel. I need my vices: coffee, my lesbian lover, and a comfy bed. Don't take poorly to being called a vice my dear; I mean that in the best possible way.

But life doesn't slow down to let me sleep in and my hair won't stop growing, so I was forced to get up this morning and come into work with plans to get my hair cut on the way home...THEN I'll be able to sleep! Which, of course, I won't because by then I'll be pretty damn awake.

I went and brewed myself a cup of coffee. I'm bad. Not because I brewed myself a cup of coffee, but because I am utilizing things that don't belong to me and that I only feel justified in using because I am the only one here. I'm drinking out of a pink mug with a heart-shaped handle that I believe is more for decorative purposes than for drinking. I mean, it's ceramic and can handle coffee just fine, but I've never seen my co-worker drink out of it and it just sits on her upper shelf like a decorative display. Whatever. It's pink and I'm tired.

And I also put some of the eye care department's hazelnut cream into my coffee. Now, I know what my lesbian vice is probably thinking right now. Hazelnut cream!?!? That stuff is so gross!!

Well, so is Hills' Bros. coffee, ok?

Sometimes, when I write here, I feel like that guy from those taxi cab commercials on MTV.

How do you REALLY know?

2005-07-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

Frequently, as a switchboard operator at a health clinic, I answer the phone to hear automated voices asking for donations, demanding call backs, or giving out personal prescription information for patients that are not ours and happen to live in Phoenix, Arizona.

By the time the call actually comes to the switchboard, another line would have already "answered" it by forwarding it to the switchboard. Thus, many of the automated calls are half-way through their message before I even pick up the receiver.

I just received a call to hear only this portion of an automated message: "As you know, your generous donations save the lives of many patients. Thank you for donating blood. We know you have it in you."